heath and nick

the future

2011-05-05T08:48:00.000-05:00

Heath was trying his best not to think the worst of his sister Amber. But she was on his mind. Still. Weeks later.

"Just face it. She's with Roger." Of course, Nick had known this guy, all his life. They'd gone to school together. "Maybe ...she'll be a good influence on him." Nick told him, after he'd gotten off the phone with Amber, who wasn't going to come home for Mother's day.

"Right." Heath had to catch himself from losing it, completely. He'd already had a screaming match with her over the fact that she needed to see their mother for Mother's day. He couldn't imagine Amber being a good influence right now. "I just keep thinking how..how she yelled at Mom, like she did. Naturally, she says she did it for me." Heath rolled his eyes at that. What he'd give for a good stiff drink, but they didn't even keep beer in the house. The fact remained, there were two thrifty guys who weren't going to spend any of their savings on booze. Especially, these days.

"Hey, you're sending your Mom flowers. Taking her out to dinner." Nick put his arm around Heath, gave him a kiss on the cheek as he served him up a hot roast beef sandwich on crunchy sourdough bread. Of course, they were going to do brunch with Nick's folks on Mother's day. Still there was this tension, Heath just felt restless.

Heath nodded and bit into the sandwich.

"Who do you think would get the Mother's day card, between the two of us, some day?" Nick let a smile slip.

"Well, obviously....you." Heath sighed. That was one thing he didn't see in himself. The mother. He was obviously the Dad. Always would be. He didn't really think he had the mothering instinct, even if he were a teacher. He felt as himself more as a coach, when it came to getting a play done. Was that a bad thing? He was beginning to wonder. Finally, he stopped questioning this and put down the sandwich. "Nick, is there something you want to tell me?"

"No." Nick cracked up.

"We have to get through our twenties first." Heath told him. He blinked then, thinking he were only a few years away from being not in his twenties. The thought of being thirty made him feel so old. Then he thought of how far away thirty was for Nick. A lot farther away. He knew Nick wouldn't want to wait that long. "Lets just see how things are, by the time I'm thirty-two." They'd need to keep saving. A lot. If they chose to start a family.

"All right." Nick could live with that. "We could be Foster parents. You know, see if its for us."

Of course, at the moment, Heath knew babysitting Grady or Owen was far too much for him. He hoped he changed soon. Suddenly, he thought of his mother, how patience she was. Maybe he and his sister were more like his father than he knew.

unwanted guests

2011-04-24T09:10:00.000-05:00

Nick wasn't expecting to do much for Easter, other than sleep in. Usually, he worked on that Sunday during the month, but the library was closed. He was sure the closest thing he might get to eggs this morning was possibly Heath scrambling some.

But Heath's sister showed up with Roger.

Immediately, Nick felt a bit naked, even if he were in his flannel pants and his favorite Misfits black T-shirt.

"Do they plan on spending the day?" Nick asked Heath while he was putting on a pot of coffee.

"I have no idea." Heath was even sullen about it, but he was digging through the fridge to get breakfast started. He wanted waffles so Nick went to find the waffle maker.

Both were pretty mute when it came to Roger. Nick had gone to school with him, and Nick liked to think of Roger still with Cory. As it was Roger would go in bouts in his relationships. Sometimes with guys, and sometimes with girls.

"I can't see it lasting." Nick finally said to Heath about his sister's situation with Roger.

"I guess." Heath gave him a faint smile.

Finally, Nick took Roger and Amber some coffee to the livingroom. Heath didn't follow.

Nick faked a smile. It was going to be work. More work than any day at the library. At least he could hide in the shelves when he wanted, at work. No, this was going to take some award winning act to show them he was happy to see them. He didn't see Heath making an effort.

Nick could only hope they wouldn't stay for lunch.

at a steady pace

2011-04-03T15:27:00.000-05:00

Jack told no one what he was up to. Not even Nick. Kelsey would have had a fit.

It was just, he didn't know what to do.

He started following Ryan. Of course, with all the slow paced moments involved in watching and waiting for this high school coach who was once more than a friend, Jack started smoking cigarettes. What a bad thing to do. But the smokes kept him calm. And well, Kelsey just didn't get how he needed to be calm.

Keep calm.

Wasn't like he was planning on killing the guy. Even if he thought Ryan was pretty heartless. It still bothered Jack how much he'd wanted to be so much like him. Look like him. Be like. Even that grin. It was all so shameless now. Possibly just dust, but still it effected him. It did.

Of course, it took a mighty long time for it all to evolve, the emotion of it, the act, the conceit, covering it up, acting as if it never happened when it certainly did. He looked up to Ryan. Everyone wanted to be him, or so he imagined. But then, they were just kids, even if Ryan was a few years older. It was a seed that implied the future. Jack's not Ryan's.

It turned into an ugliness that Jack couldn't possibly clean away. Here he sat in his pickup truck outside Ryan's house. If only he could confront him. How would it go down? Would it just pick up where it left off, like they were suppose to be together..again... Or would Ryan act as if he didn't know what he was talking about nor who he was.

It frightened Jack to think it. His skin covered in goosebumps. What was he suppose to do? His eyes rimmed with warm tears ready to spill down his face. He'd never want anything like this to happen to Grady or Owen..not any kid.

Some people were just luckier than others. Like, Nick. Then he remembered..he wasn't alone anymore. He had a family now. He didn't need to ponder over this Ryan anymore. It was the past. So distant now. A far away place.

He pulled away from the curb then. Slid in some nicotine gum between his teeth and started to chew. Kelsey would be after him if he didn't quit smoking. He drove on into the dead of night. Even so, he wasn't quite ready to go home.

now that it snowed

2011-03-22T12:26:00.000-05:00

It was more than the frightful weather out, that bothered Heath. No school.

He paced about, barefooted in his flannel pants. Why wasn't he in bed with Nick? He looked back at Nick, sound asleep. He didn't want to bother him. Of course, it wouldn't be the kind of bother that Nick could roll into.

He sat on the edge of the bed and bit his thumb nail. He looked at the damage. He couldn't remember the last time he did that. Really?

What was his sister up to? She said she wanted to come see him, yesterday ...then never showed up. It was like she wanted to talk, but then she didn't. Then the blizzard happened. At least, he knew she was at their parents. She'd broken up with her boyfriend. But then he found out what had happened. She'd had a trist of some sort with his old roommate, Roger. He was in shock. This wasn't suppose to happen to his little sister. She was suppose to be sweet and good, never lie..always. But she was real with real problems and he was worried about her. His mother was.

"What happened?" Nick rose up on his elbows then.

"Its just Amber." He looked back at him.

"Was she in a car accident or something?" Nick winced.

"Might as well been." Heath shrugged. "Roger has stooped to a new low."

"Roger?" Now Nick got up and sat next to him.

"Yeah, he's been fucking my little sister." Heath barely said under his breath. He felt Nick's warm hand on his back. He gave him a deep sigh.

"Its just, you know, I always thought Kyle would be good for her. He'd be all she'd ever need or want. He's like this person who was calm about any situation. He could fix things. He was devoted to her...And..and this happens. How does that happen?"

"We might never know." Nick whispered in his ear. "But its over. She's home. She's with your Mom. She'll be OK." Nick tugged at him. He kissed Heath under his ear. Nick's hand rested on Heath's tender waist.

Heath smiled. Why was he worried about Amber? Nick was right. They kissed then. Yeah, it was time to get back in bed and enjoy this snow day.

without a worry

2011-03-05T12:12:00.001-06:00

"What am I suppose to do about it?" Rex was a bit uneasy when Nick told him the news about Kelsey. "Has she lost her mind?" He winced. As it was, Rex was doing the best he could. He was working and waiting for Maria to decide on a place and time to get married. Until then, well, it was just dating. She'd made him go cold turkey on the rest of it. No sex.

"I can't seem to win." He shrugged as he unloaded the groceries he brought home. "I know you two, don't want me here. But Maria wants this big fancy church wedding."

"Its Maria's parents that want the big wedding." Nick clarified as he went to check if Rex brought home any surprises.

"Whatever." Rex was just tired he guessed. "I hardly see Owen as it is." He had never worked this hard in his life. It was as if the whole management position had fallen in his lap. Seriously, he wasn't ready for it. He had barely been an assistant manager at the grocery store. "I just want my own home, OK?"

"Believe me, I know that." Nick smiled. He looked at Rex then. "You know, if I wouldn't know better, I kind of think you envy Kelsey. Going on with her life, like this."

"They've got a houseful, already. One more baby to add, I dunno. Are they ready for something like that?" Granted, he thought Kelsey had changed. She was definitely a woman now. All he knew to do was to stay out of her way.

between the ruff edges

2011-02-03T22:56:00.000-06:00

"So, when were you going to tell me?" Jack looked Kelsey over as she rinsed another dish. The boys were being awful quiet. Of course, Owen was in his play-pen.

Jack peaked around the corner to make sure Grady wasn't drawing on the wall. If there was a crayon to be found, well Grady would find it. He also enjoyed pulling out any baby proofing mechanism out of the wall. But he was watching Dora at the moment on the TV.

"Tell you what." She pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear and went right on with the rest of the pots and pans. She told him she didn't trust the dishwasher on these.

"You know what." He stared at her.

"Well, you don't tell me, anything." She snapped.

"We know its not the flu. You eat like a horse." He informed her, yet she threw up usually about three every afternoon like clockwork. "You have to go to the doctor. You have too."

She looked at him as if he was the one out of his mind, not her.

"This isn't like last time. You waited forever before you went to the doctor with Owen." He reminded her. "We have insurance. You're using it."

She gave him a sullen look and he went to dry a pan.

"What?" He was puzzled. What sort of an excuse did she have this time? "OK, I don't remember doing it, but I'm sure to blame. I'm sorry." He kept staring at her.

She fretted slightly.

"It'll be different than last." He gave her a weak smile.

Kelsey just gritted. Owen started to cry then, and she went to him. Jack put the pan away and dried another.

"Fine, we'll go to the appointment together. It'll be..like a date." At least the boys would be at daycare.

if only it could just be snow

2011-01-22T12:05:00.000-06:00

Heath was trying to take this all in, about what had happened to Jack. He'd just gotten home from teaching.

"Did he tell you everything?" He wanted to know.

"No, not exactly." Nick sighed. He went on to let the dog out back so Doc could wrestle with the snow. He was all frisky. If only Heath had his energy. Heath had essays to read, papers to grade. It was never ending. And yes, more lesson plans to conjure up. If only he were a magician. But this about Ryan, shocked him.

"I dunno." He would have never thought of Ryan being...like that. "Did he say..what exactly happened?"

"He leaves a lot to the imagination. I'd hate to know. Really." Nick licked his dry lips and went to check in the fridge for some leftovers they could heat up for dinner.

Heath kept his eye on the black lab in the white puffs of snow. He stared out the sliding glass that let out on the deck. It was interesting, getting lost in the fun his pet was having, dancing around as if this were the life. Not this dreadful past, he wasn't sure he wanted to know so badly about Jack. But really he did. He wanted to know. He wanted to know if Ryan were trouble. Real trouble.

And to think, he liked Ryan. He really did. He'd been a great co-worker, and even a friend.

had enough

2011-01-15T09:24:00.001-06:00

"I wish I had your job." Jack confessed to Nick. They were doing lunch at their regular spot. Except the power had gone out and they couldn't get their usual grilled onions and burger, but the roast beef sandwich smoothered in mashed potatoes and gravy. It was half cold and Jack could barely manage it.

"A lot of people tell me that." Nick gave Jack a sly grin. He sat there looking at the meal on a blue plate. He was about to attack it in full force.

"Well, you aren't having to deal with the cold and the snow as much as I am, but you know, I like that out door stuff." Even so he'd been doing a bit more custodial stuff, lately, yet, snow plowing was a big part of his day.

"So you think Kelsey can actually handle that job down at the courthouse?" Nick dug into the sandwich as if he wouldn't gag on it as Jack almost did.

"I guess. I told her not too, but you know, it works better if I tell her just the opposite ..what to do, I'm just never smart enough to do it." Jack drank at his iced tea.

Miraculously, power spit through the place, for a moment or so. Then it went cold again. But the light radiated from the snow outside so it wasn't completely dark.

"You know, she wants me to talk to you." Jack reminded him. "And maybe ..maybe I should." Jack nodded. "But not here.." He caught his breath.

"Sure. Where ever you want to talk." Nick nodded.

"Its just..its the past, you know, and I-I want to forget it, but the thing is..this..this guy is a coach now, and..well, maybe I should tell Heath everything." Jack looked him in the eye then.

Nick cleared his throat and pushed his plate away. He stared back at Jack. Evidently, he'd had too much of that sandwich too.

a change of season

2011-01-12T15:11:00.001-06:00

Kelsey could sense something was wrong. It was in the pit of her stomach and she didn't think it was the flu.

Of course, they'd had a fuss about her not going to college. Jack kept harping that she might never go if she didn't go now.

"Then you'll wake up one day and say it was all my fault, because you didn't get a college education." His words stayed with her even if she were alone now, thinking she would take that job down at the courthouse that his Dad had got her to apply for. She'd show him. She would.

Naturally, she didn't want to leave Owen, yet she felt he'd be OK at the daycare. It would be hectic no matter what. On top of that, there was winter to think about. Cold wind chills and islands of vast snow. It was a depressing thought being out there in the cold in the country. But they had a family to take care of and Jack couldn't do it alone. She wanted to do her part.

It was true, she hadn't changed much. Kelsey was always set on what she wanted to do. She wanted the secretary job now, down at the court house. But Jack was being his usual indifferent self. She was certain something else was going on with him even if he swore there wasn't.

So when she got the call that she had to job, there was no celebration. Nothing fancy to wear. She pulled her hair back, found the slacks her Mom always wanted her to wear but never would and wore one of her white shirts that she thought she gave to Good Will and..of course, her snowboots.

It was a new year, and she had a set of old ladies to work with who didn't even know how to work a computer. She was sure she'd be lost in the establishment. But the first thing she found was the bathroom at work, and that's where she threw up.

She sat there all teary eyed. Somebody was outside asked if they needed to call anyone for her. She told them no, but she felt a little shakey. Goosebumps came over her, but it wasn't because she felt feverish. It was something else. Kelsey looked herself in the mirror as she patted her mascara in place. She sighed. This could possibly be a more healthy sign, than she knew.

here's to another year

2011-01-04T22:56:00.000-06:00

Nick wasn't sure what the new year would bring. At least they made it through the holidays. Some good dinners with friends. It was good to see everyone a couple. No odd man out.

"You know, its a lot harder being married to you than I imagined." Nick finally confessed to Heath when they were alone. After all the gifts were put away, and they had the house to themselves. As it was, they'd bought each other the identical black pea-coat. Perhaps they were on the same page.

"What are you getting at?" Heath gave him a scowl that turned into a laugh as he poured them some red wine.

"You stress to much." Nick looked at him seriously. "Maybe teaching, just isn't for you." He took the wine from him and they sat together in the livingroom by the warm fire.

"I can't believe you said that." Heath looked at him. "Drama is my life."

"Yeah, you are the king of drama." Nick grinned.

"I can't help it." He sighed. "You can't hold that against me. You can't."

"I'm not." Nick smiled as he took Heath's hand. "I want you to succeed. I do. But I worry too. If you'll get ulcers or something bad from all this hard work you put into these productions."

"I'm just fine." Heath smiled.

"But you still need a check up. When did you last see a doctor?" Nick wanted to know.

"I got my flu shot." He shrugged.

"At Wal-greens." Nick sighed. "That's not exactly getting a check up."

"But I teach school. Do you know what a pain it is to get ready for a sub?" Heath sighed as he gave Nick a long look. His fingers strayed through the hair that fell across Nick's eye. Heath bit his bottom lip.

"Fine, we'll both go." Nick suggested. "Besides, it a good time to start the new year right. Eat more healthy. Get fit." He took a sip of wine then. OK, maybe he'd just drink one glass wine on the weekends.

"You do all those things, Nick. You're healthy as horse." Heath told him. He smirked then.

"Quite. Possibly." Nick grinned as he snuggled closer to Heath. He kissed Heath on his neck.. Maybe he really didn't need this wine after all.

in the midst of it all

2010-12-24T10:10:00.000-06:00

Jack was reluctant to go to this holiday production of Heath's. Naturally, Kelsey was the one who wanted to go because his Dad would not shut up about it. His Dad loved the arts.

Jack tried to ring his Dad into taking Kelsey, but that would not do. His Dad stayed home with the little ones. So this meant Jack had to dress up, which he didn't want to. Thank God he didn't have to have a tie or he would have really had a fit. He was going to have wear one. He just knew it. HE couldn't possibly live under these conditions.

But there he was. A packed house. Mainly, those from the school. And just when Jack thought he might fall asleep during this extravaganza of holiday fare. Someone caught his attention. Immediately. Ryan.

He stared at him for the longest time, hoping it wouldn't sink in. It had been a long time. He was just thirteen or was he younger? When he met Ryan. Jack didn't want it to be him. He didn't. But he looked at the program.

Yes, it was him. He was the new coach at the school. He coached it all. Football. Basketball, even volleyball. He couldn't help but scowl. Suddenly, he felt so hot. His heart raced. He just had to get out of there. His nerves felt shot.

He went outside into the cold and so wished he had a cigarette. He didn't want to think about Ryan. He was not going to think about the past.

But when he came back in, Kelsey was waiting on him.

"Where were you?" She winced.

"I just-I just needed some fresh air. I think I-I might be getting sick." He wanted to leave. No way was he going to face Heath or any of them after the show. "Lets just go home, OK."

He stared at Kelsey. For the first time, he so wanted her close to him. Perhaps to protect him.

"Sure." She nodded.

When they got in the truck he turned it on to warm it up. He put his arm around her and kissed her then.

"I thought you were sick?" She looked him over.

"I just can't stand musicals, that's all." He smiled then as if he were in control of the situation. Ryan didn't have him where he wanted.

think not to wish it

2010-12-20T03:44:00.026-06:00

"So Its not Scrooge? It THE GRINCH?" Maria questioned Heath that night at the theater.

"Not exactly." Heath didn't know how to explain. "Its a Christmas story."

"OK." She was laughing at him. He could see that. A bit of him was furious. She thought this was just silly, didn't she? "Its kind of confusing." She winced.

"Well, the choir knew the Grinch songs." What was he suppose to do. True, it wasn't exactly Dickens, but it wasn't Dr. Seuss, either...except for the songs. Jesus, it wasn't Broadway. Heath had done the best he could. They'd add libbed with ghost of girlfriends past.

He had a crowd to please. And everyone came because the new coach was in it. They were selling chunks of German chocolate cake at five bucks a pop at the concessions. Loads of money was to be had, and he had three shows to milk it, for all it was worth. He felt a little bad that it wasn't exactly perfect, but not really. "Its an original." He smiled then as if that would have to do.

"That it is." She kept smiling as she flashed her hand around. Finally, Heath caught a look at it.

"When did this happen?" He grinned as he took a long look at the splendid oval diamond. Now Heath was really laughing. This was the best Christmas present he could think of. Rex would be moving out soon enough. "It is from Rex, isn't it?" If it wasn't, he'd truly be disappointed.

on the hunt

2010-12-18T02:12:00.001-06:00

Maria was looking at the different e-readers with Rex. They were out Christmas shopping. She felt a tad guilty, but she really wanted to splurge on herself, and since no one else was...well, a kindle would be nice. She definitely would not tell her parents about it. As it was they wanted her to be more giving. Why hadn't she found her a church yet? Shouldn't she be singing at Christmas Mass?

"Why would you need one?" It was a simple question from Rex, but she didn't want to hear it.

"Why not? I could put my whole library on one simple thing." She told him.

"But what if it crashed?" He looked at the readers, then looked back at her.

"Its cheaper than an iPad." She hugged herself then. Why couldn't this be simple? What was he here for?

Finally, they went out into the mall, and he eyed something at the jewelry place. He pointed. All she saw was gold. She hesitated, trying not to get her hopes up. But there it was, a pretty diamond ring. Lots of them. All shapes and sizes. He put his arm around her to guide her in. But someone called to him before they could take a serious look at the wedding ring designs.

Rex turned.

"I thought that was you." Some young woman was all smiles. She was on crutches, and even wore, pregnant, but it wasn't stopping her. She looked to be fine in the handicap boots she was wearing.

"Hey," Rex was all smiles. Before he could introduce Maria, the young woman was asking about their baby.

"I'm so sorry I never got back to you, its been really a tough year. But I want to see him. I do. I think its great you have a son now. And you-" She looked Maria over. "Wow, you don't look like you even had a kid."

Maria just smiled. Not sure what to say, looking at Rex to get them out of the situation.

"Lisa, this is Maria." It was a bit awkward. "Kelsey is the one who had the baby."

Lisa just stared at Maria then Rex. She was quiet then. "Well, Merry Christmas." She said quickly enough. As it was, she didn't think Lisa was going to introduce her husband, but he introduced himself. Soon enough they were gone.

"Should I be worried?" Maria felt as if she'd met one Rex's ghost from the past.

"No." But he was so quiet. "Lets look at rings, OK?" He pulled out his credit card then.

just a possibility

2010-12-16T01:40:00.003-06:00

Kelsey brought the left over chili to Nick.

"Its kid friendly, and I know it won't give Heath an ulcer." She told him.

"He doesn't have an ulcer?" Nick put the chili away in the kitchen. He put on the kettle for some hot cocoa.

"I just thought he might. You know, he gets kind of weird with all his drama stuff." Kelsey shrugged. of course, she had Owen with her in his baby carrier. He was so bundled up from the cold. She got him out of his arm covers and hugged him so he cold look at the kitchen and Nick.

"Did you guys come over to see Rex?" Nick smiled at the baby and took Owen's little fingers to get a closer look at them.

"No." She showed no emotion, but Rex was the last person she wished to see. "Its about Jack."

"Jack?" Nick almost winced with a laugh. "What did he do this time?"

"He needs somebody to talk to. I know you're not a professional or anything, but if you could just listen. You're a good listener."

Nick agreeded with that.

"I want to know what it is, I do, but I can't make him tell me." She was serious. "I just know it happened when he was young. Maybe a priest abused him or something."

"You're kind of scaring me." Nick winced.

"It has to be something like that. It has to be." Kelsey sighed.

"OK." Nick took the baby then. He wanted to see his nephew. He touched Owen's tummy. Kelsey went to fix the cocoa. She thought then, it might be time for Owen to spend some time with Rex, but she wanted Nick around if it were going to happen.

until then

2010-12-14T01:23:00.032-06:00

Jack wasn't too fond of having to see someone about his problem.

"You already knew I was broken, I don't even know why you're even here." There, he told Kelsey how it was in a nutshell. Of course, she did marry him. It wasn't exactly something they could rewind and forget now.

"As if a lobotomy would fix you." She stomped away to fix something to eat in the kitchen. It was too cold to go anywhere or do anything. "You, need to talk about what ever it is, you can't talk about." She found some hamburger in the fridge and got the pot out. She was going to make chili.

"But, there is nothing to talk about." He wished he could fight her about it, but he had a feeling she'd win and as it was, they had Christmas to think about. They already had Elf on the Shelf out to make sure someone, Grady, was being good. Naturally, Kelsey told Jack he had to be good too. It was aggravating, but it kept them on their toes to mind their manners.

"You could talk to Nick." Kelsey attacked the meat with a spatula as it sizzled. "He's close." No telling how long nor where he'd have to go to talk to a psychiatrist of some kind.

"I don't want too." It gave Jack a slight raw shiver to bring up his past with anyone. "What if he tells my Dad?" He hated the thought of his Dad knowing what he'd kept hidden all this time.

"Nick would never do that. He would not judge you. If there is anyone who is easy to talk to, its Nick." Kelsey gave him a quick smile.

Jack felt nausea. He just didn't know where to begin. Why did he have too?

Finally

2010-12-12T01:39:00.021-06:00

It was getting close. But Heath found someone. At least the coach knew his lines. And well, everyone seemed to love the new coach, Ryan.

Heath had lucked out. He wasn't sure how it might go over, but it seemed everyone was embracing the arts during the holidays. And there was Ryan to the rescue.

"You must have acted before." Heath said half way giddy. Of course, he stopped what he was saying and just looked at Ryan. They were in the Teacher's Lounge. Heath almost choked, hoping Ryan didn't think he was coming on to him. He really wasn't. As it was, he was thinking what to get Nick for Christmas. Possibly, just being there for Nick might be the best offer at the moment.

At least, he had the star of the show. And that helped the most. Maria had naturally fallen through on helping him, at all. Perhaps it was best she didn't meet this Coach Ryan of the football team. She might drop Rex all-together. Seriously, it would be a nice Christmas present if they got Rex to move in with Maria. See, he wasn't entirely thinking about the musical.

Thankfully, choir knew all the Grinch songs. It was going to work.

Then he saw Ryan practically devouring most of the cheeseball that someone had brought. A kick into reality.

"Really, every day of my life is an acting job for me." Ryan said munching on a cracker full of nuts and cheese.

Heath grimaced. How ever could he tell him, to watch that girlish figure of his?

times up

2010-12-09T09:36:00.000-06:00

"I don't know what's going on with them." Rex thought it might even be worse than he knew. He'd stayed over at Maria's. Seriously, he thought he'd moved in. But he guessed not. She did have clean laundry for him. And she'd set it all out as if he had go. Now. Rex squinted then thinking, this was the usual. Well, he wanted it to stop.

"I'm sure its not that serious." Maria sighed as if she'd made him some snacks to go with him. "You know, Heath has this big Christmas production. When its done, it'll all be back to normal." Maria smiled as if it were the end of story. She handed him over the cookies. She kissed him on the cheek.

"But-"

"Now, scoot. Get home and do what ever you do." She gave him a serious look.

"But-but its four in the morning." Rex winced.

"I get a lot done this time of day." Well, that made one of them.

Rex nodded. Honestly, he felt he was out of loop, on so much. Everyone seemed to have someone, but him. OK, he was at Maria's, but it felt like a time clock, lately.

"I want to move in." He found himself saying.

"That wouldn't work out." She shook her head and went back to getting her kitchen in order.

"How do you know, it wouldn't?" He watched her. What did she want him to do? And then he hit him. Or was it the fact she was humming a very familiar tune..something about put a ring on it.

Rex slightly choked. It was like the warranty had expired or something. She was really going to make Christmas shopping really hard for him this year.

wow

2010-12-04T09:21:00.000-06:00

The new young adult librian at the old library where Nick used to work was really making Nick grin. They were having their little meeting at a diner near the library.

"And you had absolutely nothing to work with." Asa still had to put in a little bit more how much Nick had done at his library.

"Stop," Nick laughed. "Its a small library."

'This is a small library." Asa shrugged. He'd shown Nick all his book clubs he'd chosen and some of the movies he's be presenting. He questioned Nick about his group he worked with.

"I still can't believe you're back." Nick looked at him. Asa didn't look all that much different from the last time he'd seen him. He was small but that never stopped Asa from getting anything done.

"Me, either, actually." Asa sighed. "I want to say its a vacation, but its really not. I think I want to be here for good now. And, and I can't believe how lucky I got, to get this."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Nick understood jobs like theirs were hard to come by, but it made him want to be that much better for those kids who wanted to be part of the library. Show them opportunities they might not know about. "But you know, how's everything else?"

"Its just me." He then mentioned his cousin Elliot and how he was staying at Elliot's old place. "It might be freedom if I didn't have to put up with his parents."

"I guess you've met Amanda then." That was Elliot's wife.

"Yeah," he grinned. "And Rosie." He laughed. "She's three going on twenty-three. I had no idea kids that age talked that way."

"I haven't seen Amanda's little girl in ages." They talked about his cousin's family for awhile. And then Asa looked at the wedding band on Nick's finger.

"What is this?" Asa gave Nick a stunned look. "Are you kidding me? You? You're married?"

"Yeah." Nick felt as if reality had caught up with him suddenly. Heath. How he wished he'd somehow smoothed things over this morning with him, but he wasn't sure how, but to let this run its course. "He's a ..pretty special guy."

"A guy?" Asa looked at him, shocked. He held in a laugh. "I had no idea."

Nick felt sure Asa would give him a hard time. After all, Asa was a missionary, wasn't he?

"Wow, Iowa, right?" Asa questioned.

Nick just nodded.

"Wow." Asa kept smiling.

Nick guessed that was all Asa could think of to say.

maybe so

2010-11-30T15:18:00.000-06:00

Heath was trying to keep to himself or he knew he'd drive Nick crazy with this musical he had to put together. It was actually making him ill. But he wouldn't dare admit that.

It didn't help much that a windy snow blew in. It was cold, but a dry snow. Still, it made his skin all rough and possibly, he was coming down with something. Yet, he was determined to get through this. Even if he knew he was no help at Thanksgiving.

"Can't you find anyone?" Nick told him he had doubts if they'd still be together if this was always the way it would be. Nick claimed he was a workaholic.

"You are joking, right?" Heath didn't have time to get in a squabble with him. This was work. He had a job to do. Of course, the more they talked, it became an argument.

"You think you're job is more important than mine!" Nick scolded as they were trying their best to get to work.

"How many times are we going to discuss this?" Heath snapped. He left in a grumble. But as he drove, he had to wonder if it were him becoming the real Scrooge. And then it came to him. He couldn't bother a kid learning lines as Scrooge. He needed a grownup. Maybe he'd take the lead role himself.

some Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T11:16:00.000-06:00

Thank God, Kelsey thought, since she wasn't the one cooking Thanksgiving dinner. It was all so cordial. Even seeing Maria and Rex at Nick's dinner party. She wasn't sure where Heath was.

At least, Jack wasn't the main subject. As it was, he was rather subdued. Naturally, his dad had suggested therapy. Of course, she was the one who had to tell his Dad what his problem was. Sleepsex. There is was. Plain and simple. She looked it up on google. It had some fancy name, Parasomnias but that's what it was.

It would have been nice if Jack knew what he was doing. Of course, what if it wasn't as good? Actually, he was all clumsy now around her. She thought he was practically going to lock himself in his room.

"Well! Its my room too." She insisted in her little tantrum the night before. As it was. Nothing happened last night. But he'd been upset. And she knew he wanted to tell her something, but he wouldn't. It was frustrating. Even so, she'd told him she loved him, and really she'd felt close to him last night. She just wasn't so sure about right now. He looked as if he was not in a good mood. Just Mr. Silent now.

Kelsey though, was not going to let it get her down. She'd been all chummy with Maria. Yet, things looked not so hot with Maria and Rex, either.

"What happened?" She got Maria off in one of the bedrooms when she went to change Owen's pamper.

"Oh, its nothing." Maria was hardly smiling.

"But-" Kelsey frowned back. "Look, I like you. And-and I think you're good for Rex. I do. And, well, I dunno if I'd want just anybody around Owen ..when, you know, Rex is suppose to have him." She looked back at Owen, knowing the day was coming. She was going to have to share him with Rex.

"I'm sure Rex is going to be great with him." Maria smiled as she touched Owen's soft dark hair.

Kelsey shook her head as if she might cry if she looked at him long enough. "I dunno. I don't want anything from Rex, really. I'd hate for him to think of me everytime he see's Owen." She knew the baby looked more like her than Rex. "I'd hate for Rex to want to hurt him, you know."

"He would never hurt Owen." Maria slightly winced.

"Yeah, because you're around." Kelsey let Owen kick to his content on his back. She really didn't want to worry about Rex. She had enough to deal with, with Jack.

like a piece of cake

2010-11-24T14:27:00.000-06:00

Nick would take care of Thanksgiving dinner, because somebody wasn't. Heath.

He'd decided to work around Heath, yet he'd invited Jack and Kelsey, Jack's Dad even Maria for Rex. He knew that Cameron was not for Maria. But he'd been pretty much mute on that subject with Rex.

"Look, you have nothing to worry about, really." Instead he wanted his brother to bring rolls and pumpkin pie from the grocery store.

"That's it?" Rex looked at him.

"Yeah, that's all I need from the store, we've got plenty of milk and butter." Nick shrugged who was more concerned about the turkey than anything.

"NO, THIS GUY." Rex fumed.

"Well, he's not you." Nick told him.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Rex questioned, who was in no hurry to get to work.

"He's not her type." Nick informed him.

"But is he made of money?" Rex pondered.

"How should I know? Look, I don't think that would dare waver Maria. I think she was only doing this as a favor. OK."

Rex nodded, but he looked worried.

"Well, behave yourself." Nick just smiled. After all they had their parents coming. Seriously, though, Nick was pretty sure he had Thanksgiving dinner covered. But it was important to leave Heath alone. Hopefully, he'd eat dinner.

round and around and round

2010-11-20T08:27:00.000-06:00

Maria went with her planned date to Heath's play. It was the perfect opportunity to test out the waters in the dating world. She had a fine candidate that was as the principal said, Husband Quaility. Of course, that alone did not appeal to Maria. And she thought Cam was just not for her. He looked like the guy on those commercials who kept saying he was a PC. Why couldn't cam be the other guy, Justin Long?

He was a few years older. Definitely set in his bachelor ways. All right, she'd have to face the fact he was almost forty. It felt like a prison sentence.

Oh well, she dragged him all the way to the play. He didn't seem to mind. She'd use him, just this one time, and forget about ever going out with him. Afterall, she was here to support Heath and the arts. And it was artsy. The set design was just stunning. Costumes too. Actors did their part on cue. It was a fine production. But when she saw Heath, he was a bundle of nerves.

She didn't drag Cam behind the scenes.

"It was great!" She smiled all over. What did he have to worry about? Nick was there. A few friends from back at the university. It was a good night for him. Of course, he was still in director mode. He shook her hand, acting like he hardly knew who she was.

This put her off.

"Why don't you guys come by the house, on the way home." Nick offered coffee and cake.

"Oh." Maria didn't know if that were a good idea. What if she saw Rex? But it was late. And Cam liked the sound of that. So she was hoping she might really get to talk to Heath then. Of course, she had a feeling he could care less about who she was dating and why.

And she was exactly right. He was still hyper. Questioning everyone about acoustics. Did they notice who didn't know their lines well enough. Thankfully, he was drinking a bottle of water while everyone else was chowing down on cheese cake and coffee.

"So what do you think?" She wondered what he thought of Cam. Was he too old for her? He was a principal at a school she didn't work at.

"I can't think. Really." He was jittery, pacing in the kitchen. "I have SCROOGE to think about. The musical. I can't believe they'd throw this at me so suddenly. "They think I can have it on stage by the 10th of next month!" He looked so frantic.

"A musical?" Maria looked at him blankly. "Who do they think you are? Your a robot?" She joked.

"NO, its if I want any money for my drama department, I have to do it myself." He bit his upper lip.

"Look, I'll help you." She found herself coming to his rescue. Anything to get away from Cam. She couldn't even stand his breath. But one thing she knew for sure, it really was all about Heath. She knew now all that mattered was teaching, directing, drama. How in the world did Nick live with him?

we're the only ones

2010-11-18T02:08:00.023-06:00

Rex had all the time in the world to stay in Maria's bed. As it was, he knew he wasn't missed at Heath and Nick's. It was nice to be with Maria. He just couldn't help but not be there. She did make everything quite cozy. And she made really good egg burritos, too.

As it was though, Maria was all ready for school. He wasn't that fond of her school teacher mode. Well, maybe a little, She wore her hair in a long braid. Even if she wasn't trying to look sexy in her plain dark shirt d with that stern gray sweater...well, she looked pretty damn good to him.

"I dunno if we should keep doing this." She hugged herself then.

"What? Me, sleeping over.' He didn't get that vibe earlier when she was sleeping next to him.

"People, might start to think-"

"What? You pick up guys at grocery stores?" That made Rex laugh.

"Its a small town, and, you know, they get so nosy, and all. I-I should be going out on proper dates and..."

"What? What are you talking about?" He guessed it was time for him to go. She'd wanted the bed made so perfectly.

"Somebody set me up on a date." She told him.

"And you didn't tell them? You were already seeing someone?" He didn't get it. Of course, he did need to find his undies and clothes on the floor.

"I couldn't. Look, its nothing. But still-" She caught her breath.

"Look, you know I'll be back." He reminded her with a quick kiss. "We're OK? Right?"

Only Maria didn't have an answer for him.

no exeption

2010-11-16T03:48:00.041-06:00

Nick had never seen Heath this wound up. OK, maybe it was slowly happening and he just didn't realize it, until now. But he knew Heath shouldn't be this crazy over his first theater production at school.

"You're gonna do fine. I have faith in you." Nick was beginning to think Heath just didn't have faith in himself. Nick's fingers came around Heath's face then. He drew him in for a kiss.

"I don't have time. Really." Heath pulled away.

"Fine. I've got things to do too." Nick looked at him, wanting to touch him more. But after all, they both had to get to work.

"Really? Like what?" Heath wanted to know. Finally.

"They don't have a young adult librian anymore, where I used to work." Nick shrugged.

"Well, what are you suppose to do about it?" Heath winced. "That's like well over an hour away, isn't it? You aren't going to work for them? Are you?"

"No." Nick winced. "They just want me to help sit in on interviews. That's all. I have an old school friend who just moved back. I thought I might see if he's interested. I was going to see him, after I got off work."

"Well? Who is this?" Heath's face tensed as he backed away to jerk on some dress pants and dark T. He pulled a light weight sweater over his head.

"Its nobody, really." Nick couldn't help but almost laugh.

"Oh really?" Heath was being serious.

"Its Elliot's cousin." Nick told him.

"Elliot?" Heath winced.

"He married Amanda." Nick explained.

"I don't know them, that well." Heath acted as if he wished he had more friends then. He got on his shoes and gray suit jacket. It was a bit mismatched, but a cool vibe, non the less.

"I haven't seen Asa in forever. Like middle school. I think. I dunno. I didn't go to school with him. My parents went to a church that his Dad pastured."

"A preacher's son?" Heath picked up a dark scarf from the closet then and wrapped it around his neck. Just to unwind it as if it were a bit much.

"Oh, you make it sound as if he's wild one or something." Nick chuckled. "Actually, he's a missionary. And he's fluent in Spanish."

"What's he doing back?" Heath winced then. Nick put the scarf back around Heath's neck once more. And reached for the black fedora then.

"I dunno. Guess he wanted a break." Nick shrugged. Nick stepped back and looked Heath over. Yeap, he had the part. Very sophisticated. He hoped he wasn't yelling at the kids too much in that play.

here, there. everywhere

2010-11-14T01:35:00.023-06:00

"Just shut up about Jack." Heath looked at Nick point blank. He was stressed out. Completely. Rehearsals ran late every night. Sometimes, he didn't get home until almost 2 a.m.. Heath just wanted the show to be perfect.

He didn't have time for this Jack stuff. He needed to show that he knew what he was doing. As it was, he had about one kid who knew how to build sets. Then of course, the girl who wanted to watch the kid build sets. No one even knew how to paint in the cast. Props would go missing. Yes, he had to enforce the Nazi prop mistress what to do. So many things to juggle. He wasn't sure if he were making heads or tails. And he'd hate to disgrace anything. After all it was Shakespeare.

"Sorry." Nick had to make all the meals of late. No more, late Saturday mornings to themselves. Not even Sundays. "Is it always going to be like this?" Nick asked point blank.

"What?" Heath was going through a pile of clean clothes looking for matching socks. Really, couldn't Nick pair socks up? Didn't he have the time? Even during GLEE? "What do you mean?"

"Its like, this is all you care about. You. Nobody else." Nick gave him a glare as he packed him dinner after school. Other wise, he might forget to eat.

"No. You don't get it. I - I have to make this...AMAZING." That was all he could manage to say about this production. He'd gone over so much of finding the emotion for this show with the cast. He just hope they didn't see it as overacting now. But when you were on stage, you just had to make it big. Think big. He kept reminding himself.

"Just slow down." Nick grabbed his shoulders then, to keep him still. Heath was just in his underwear after all. He hoped he didn't forget to get dressed.

just saying

2010-11-12T01:46:00.029-06:00

"I could have told him that." Kelsey had Owen sleeping in one arm and was eating a chicken salad sandwich in the other while she was sitting in her kitchen with Nick.

"Really? How?" Nick slightly laughed, wondering how Kelsey could juggle all this. And now to hear Grady was actually Jack's kid.

"Its the eyes. And the mouth." She told him.

"But you know, maybe he just picked up Jack's mannerisms." Nick shrugged as he stuffed another chip in his mouth.

"No, he's Jack's. He is." She nodded.

"Still can't believe he just, didn't know." Nick sighed.

"Well, people black out when they drink." Kelsey reminded him of someone they'd gone to high school with who always blacked out at parties. "I always thought, how convenient, but there are lot weird things people do when they get drunk. Who knows, I'm sure she wanted to have sex with him."

"I see. Guess, you've taken care of that one now." Nick gave her a sly look.

"Maybe." She wasn't saying though. Specifically.

"That's great." Nick tried to keep from grinning. It was just from the way Olivia talked, she thought Kelsey had a pretty much unromantic marriage. That it was just mainly a family with his kid and her kid and that was it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Kelsey remained even lip. Nick wasn't sure why this was bothering him, exactly. He knew it was none of his business.

a strange kind of thing

2010-11-10T02:58:00.030-06:00

Jack had finally found it. He'd taken it upon himself to clean out Kim's trailer. His Dad said someone should have it who might need it.

He'd finally found Grady's birth certificate. Her ex-husband's name was on it. Suddenly, Jack felt so sad that he probably should call him about the news. He didn't know why he hadn't already. As he looked through the information on Grady, he noticed he and Grady had the same blood type. Of course, that didn't mean anything. A lot of people had the same blood type.

Things had gone OK with the foster system. Maybe he'd just see if he could adopt Grady and be done with it.

Of course, before he could think much about it, his Dad already had a lawyer for him.

"You're always one step ahead of me, aren't you?" Jack had a lunch date with his Dad and the lawyer. He had all the stuff he could find on Grady.

"Somebody has to keep you in the right direction." His Dad just smiled and Jack wondered why his Dad hadn't ran for office yet. He was quite a politician.

"Do you want this stuff?" Jack had it in a big envelope and was ready to hand it over to the lawyer.

That was when the lawyer informed Jack the news. Jack was Grady's biological father.

Jack thought he might choke on his burger then. It was good news, but it had to be a lie. A big fat lie.

"She said that!" Jack gave the lawyer a scowl.

"Yes." The lawyer nodded.

"OK." Jack muttered, but he didn't see how. He really didn't. He just shook his head. His Dad slapped Jack on the back as if he'd done good some how, but Jack was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to make of any of this. It just felt weird.

the little things mean a lot

2010-11-08T03:33:00.014-06:00

Rex wished he could tell Heath that he wanted to marry Maria. He thought he did. But he hadn't brought it up because he didn't want to scare her. She'd been really nice about the whole Kelsey situation. It hadn't scared her away. A part of her wanted to get to know Owen more, but of course, that hadn't happened yet. Rex hadn't found the nerve to ask Kelsey if he could have Owen for the weekend, alone.

"I'm very fond of her." Rex shrugged. Well, it was a whole lot more than that. She was quite a cook and other things. He would do his best to paint a sweet picture of her. Of them. It could be that. It was more than a one night stand. It could be a life. It was just still so uneasy now. Rex still needed to save money. The best he could give his brother and his partner right now was to bring home the groceries. He could do that. And he did. It wasn't like he was sponging off of them completely.

Of course, he wondered the same of Maria. If that's what she thought. Not that he asked. He just wished he could take her places. Out of town. This was a small town. And people talked.

"Why don't you call her. See if she wants to come over to night. I'll heat up the stew. Maybe put in some extra veggies. It won't be fantastic. But you know." Heath shrugged as if he were trying.

"And we could have wine." It was cold and in the fridge. Rex smiled. Yeah, they could all get along. Some how.

getting on with things

2010-11-06T03:22:00.020-05:00

Heath couldn't believe work wasn't a headache yet. Perhaps it had to do with having at least a full-fledged teaching year behind him, had helped. OK, it might not have been completely full, but still, enough. Enough to stay one step ahead of the bad ones and good enough to encourage the sweet ones. He pretty much liked this teaching gig.

Maybe that's why he decided he'd make homemade bread. He'd always wanted to.

But there was Rex still with them at home, in the kitchen with him now while Nick, was off walking the dog. It surprised Heath, still to think of Rex with Maria.

"So what does this mean? Exactly?" Heath had Rex cornered about the matter.

"That we're seeing each other."

Heath gave him a sly grin. He knew this was no Mayberry/Andy Griffith kind of matter. He just didn't trust Rex. A part of Heath wanted Rex to hurry up and move out to be with Maria while another part didn't want to see Maria get hurt, either.

"So, you two are just dating?" Heath wish he could ask the question, but he couldn't.

"Yeah, that's-that's what it is." Rex shrugged with a slight smile.

"You aren't-" Heath winced.

"What?"

"She, the rebound?" Heath started to slice the homemade bread he'd just let cool from the oven. For once it was perfect. He'd never had bread machine bread worth eating. He'd done this all by hand.

"No." Rex winced.

"I just-I just don't want to see her get hurt." Heath then said. It was true. He knew she deserved better than Rex. What had Rex ever done to make her want to be with him?

where there is bliss

2010-11-04T01:12:00.045-05:00

Kelsey closed her eyes. Was she dreaming?

Usually, she'd been in a dream when he kissed her before. He was so different in bed. Yes, there was a time, she did wonder what he was like when he was little and how his mother must have seen him. She really hoped some day she'd have a little boy exactly like him. Was that what made her love him?

It wasn't like it happened over night. And yes, maybe they'd made this deal. I'll be there for you if you're there for me. She knew this had all been about Grady and the fact he hated to see her alone and pregnant. And maybe she'd moved in as if she owned the place. And, and she liked being with him.

The first time he held her during the night, she wasn't thinking it would go anywhere. She had been half asleep. He looked asleep. And it was so warm. She didn't know if it were real at first. But it happened. They'd had sex in the middle of the night. It was strange yet amazingly brilliant.

But then he never talked about it. Didn't say a word. It was like hot and cold with him. She didn't say anything. She didn't really want to bring it up. Who knew, it might not have really happened, but by the third or forth time. She got it. Maybe it was like sleepwalking. But it was sex. Was kind of like a dance. And she'd feel foolish later. He'd be oblivious to the whole ordeal.

And now. This kiss. Was he awake? Totally awake? Was she awake? She kissed him back, and they walked down the street. She saw some doctor's offices. It was like a sign. The OBGYN.

"Maybe I should get birth control." She decided.

"What for?" He winced.

"You know, just because." She shrugged. She didn't want to breast feed all that much longer. As it was Owen would have eaten pudding, beans and bread if he had a chance, but he was just an infant.

"Why would you?" He was all smiles. It was as if he didn't get it.

"Two kids is plenty." She assured him.

"But you don't have to." Jack shrugged.

"All right." Kelsey looked at him as if maybe he wanted to start their own family. She guessed it was better sooner than later. She guessed.

in motion

2010-11-02T02:57:00.030-05:00

OK, they'd kissed twice. Jack felt a little naked now with out a kid to hold or tend to. He was out on a date with Kelsey.

Amber and Kyle were spending the night with the kids. It was really strange. Honestly, he didn't think Kelsey could be away from Owen that long. He wasn't sure if he could be away from Grady that long. It was weird. Here they were getting lost in a parking garage. They'd played around with the elevator and now he supposed they'd be late for their dinner reservation.

"What?" They were holding hands. They'd held hands before. Sure, it might have been for show. But he'd seen just about every part of her. It wasn't like it couldn't happen. They did sleep together.

"Nothing." She just looked at him as if she wasn't sure it was a have to moment. Like maybe they were too close, but he didn't let go. He wasn't pretending.

"We should do this more. We really should." He told her. They walked together out on the cool night. Lights everywhere. Couples here and there. All so much closer than the two of them.

Kelsey just nodded. She was being quiet. Jack didn't want to talk about the past few months or the kids. But there was really nothing to talk about. It was as if they were strangers now. Jack looked up and saw the new moon. Big and full as if Halloween had created it and left it as an afterthought. Jack caught his breath. He turned to her. He wanted to know her kiss. He thought he did. It wasn't like he kissed her before work or even good night. He kind of wanted to, but he hadn't want to put any pressure on this situation, either. But somehow, he wanted to do this before it was too late. Was it to late?

He pressed close. The emotion was inside. It might not have been the thoughts of what anyone else would have on their mind, but he did like having her around. He did appreciate what had become of them even if he didn't think he could believe it. But one hand went to her cheek. The other to her hip. Some how he knew she might never be really his, but he wanted to be her's. He did. He just had to show her.

just the trick

2010-10-31T02:39:00.003-05:00

Nick had the Halloween party to tend to at the library. Yes, they were open for a young adult party.

He was sort of in a bad mood with Heath. He told him he didn't have to help. He had Jack to help get the tables set up, and he was out looking for the punch bowl.

"Do you think you and Rex will get along?" Nick found himself asking. Jack was holding a bit fat plastic spoon. He was holding it as if he hadn't any idea what it was for.

"Guess so." Jack didn't seem to have a clue what he was getting at.

Jack went back to the closet to find some tape. Nick followed him.

"Heath seems to think you're a big fake, or something." Nick tried to laugh it off.

"I always thought I was a better actor than he was." Jack just grinned.

"You know, this..this marriage with Kelsey." Nick winced.

"Well, it feels like one." Jack nodded.

"I thought so." Nick agreed, knowing he better shut up about it. He walked away and thought of what Jack said. Maybe Jack was the better actor.

an awful sad thing to plan

2010-10-30T02:47:00.017-05:00

"I think this was the fakest party ever." Heath didn't get it. Actually, he could hardly stand it. Everyone making over Kelsey and Jack as if they'd known them forever. It just seemed trite. He was doing little to help Nick clean up. Everyone left. And well, they'd sent Kelsey and Jack off as if they might be royality.

"You're just jealous." Nick glared at him.

"No. I'm not." He was hurt he'd think such. "I'm just saying this is all gonna backfire on them. Then what happens with the fallout comes?"

"God, you are jealous." Nick scowled. "You just can't stand to see Jack happy."

"What?" Heath winced. "He's not happy. I can see that. Its like he put a rope around his neck and decided to hang himself."

"What are you getting at?" Nick stuffed a new trash liner in the trash can. He had loads of trash bags to take to the curb.

'Its like she has him whipped now, or something. And Jack won't stay whipped long. He's-He's not a softie." Heath promised.

"I don't think either of them or endangering the other. I think they're happy." Nick was buying into it, evidently. "You, just ..just leave them alone. We've got worries of our own. You have a job to do."

"What are you talking about?" Heath slightly smirked. Why would Nick think he'd want to stir up any trouble. Jack and Kelsey were going to crash and burn. Heath was sure of it.

friends

2010-10-28T01:58:00.027-05:00

Kelsey was more shocked that people wanted to see where she and Jack lived. Hopefully, no one came to visit. But Kyle and Amber really sounded as if they would.

"So you two better be ready for us, some weekend." Amber told her. "We'll come out and babysit for you so you two can go out. That's about the only gift I can offer at the moment." Kelsey looked at Jack who gave this little impish smile and shrug of his as if he were OK with it.

Of course, she couldn't imagine where they'd go. They hadn't exactly had a honeymoon. And she wasn't expecting one. It would just be strange if they didn't have kids around.

"We can wait on it. Maybe the spring." Kelsey told her. "You've got classes, and Owen and I are pretty attached at the moment." She guessed no one wanted to hear about breastfeeding.

"Come on, you guys could go see a movie, if nothing else." Amber told her. Kelsey couldn't think what might even be showing.

She looked at Jack. They had done everything backwards. But maybe they were family. It never occurred to Kelsey that she had so many friends. Good friends too. Now she guessed she'd have to be a friend. Of course, she looked at who Rex was with. She guessed that's where she'd have to start first.

the big side of it

2010-10-26T01:41:00.038-05:00

Thank God, Grady had Charlie to play with. But that meant Jack had to hang around with Lon. It was a tad uncomfortable. There was an inkling that maybe Jack really liked Lon's company more than he should. But of course, there was Grady. And of course, he took him on a few wild goose chases. They had to have a talk out back about him getting him good in the crotch.

"Now what would you do if I did that to you?" He grabbed him by the arm that he meant business. Of course, all he got were Grady's big blue eyes staring up at him as if he'd hurt him already by raising his voice. "You know it hurts. I know you know what you're doing. You know better." He sat with him on the back step for awhile. Suddenly, he knew how sad he'd be if Grady ran away from him. A tear came to the corner of his eye. "Be good will you?" He rubbed his hand on the top of his messy mop of hair. There was no use keeping him neat as a doll because he wasn't one. He was definitely a boy in motion.

"So are you hiding out here?" Lon came out to check on them.

"Just fussing, thats all." Jack cleared his throat.

"Well, you two better come in. They're gonna open presents soon. And there's homemade ice cream too." Lon ushered them in to the livingroom. The dinner dishes were tucked away in the dishwasher now and Charlie was in the playpen with some toys. Jack put Grady in with him. But he had a watchful eye to see if Grady was sharing. He was. So he sat next to Kelsey and she teased him with a present.

Jack just smiled. He thought this was a baby shower, not wedding gifts. He hadn't been the center of attention for quite some time. It was making him a little nervous to get used too.

getting the grove back

2010-10-24T01:27:00.022-05:00

Rex wasn't sure if he should even be here, but after he told Maria everything about Kelsey and the baby, she was the one who told him he had to be there.

"But, won't it be awkward." Rex winced even minutes before they got there.

"We've been over this a thousand times. You just have to get over it like..you know, climbing on a bike for the first time or something." She seemed quite happy. Even now, he could see her beaming. And he tried to imitate her smile the best he could. Perhaps they were a couple. A real couple. Not one of the of those one night stands that they could have been. Not that he'd mention that at the moment. As it was he was listening to Maria tell Heath that she'd met Rex in the grocery store.

"This guy knows mangoes." She informed him. Rex thought he might lose his smile, but soon enough there were a crowd of people. Most he didn't know, but there were no grownups. He could have really used a stiff drink about now, but all Nick had was punch. A non alcoholic party. Rex wasn't quite sure he was cut out for this kind of thing.

And then Kelsey and Jack made an arrival with the kids. Acually, Jack had both of them. He was carrying Grady and the baby-carrier. Kelsey went on and on how tired she was, but really she looked rather normal. Her hair in one long braid, just in jeans and a peasant top. She mingled a bit, finally there she was and Rex introduced Maria to Kelsey.

No smirks. Yet she acted as if she hardly knew him and maybe thats the way it was suppose to be.

like the futue was supposed to be

2010-10-22T01:25:00.015-05:00

"I dunno why we are going to all this trouble." Heath snacked on celery sticks while Nick was putting the finishing touches on dinner for the party. They were expecting guests any minute. "You know this whole set up is just an act. Jack's helping her out and she's helping him. That's all there is to it."

"Just shut up. Don't start that. OK? This is a happy time. Got it." Nick gave him a glare.

"I know." Heath winced. "Promise. I am keeping my mouth shut. I will."

"You better." Nick had everything in place. Just then Rex came in with someone. Heath looked at Nick who looked at the mystery guest. It was Maria.

Heath couldn't help but give her a glare. "What are you doing here?" Heath almost choked on his celery stick.

"Rex invited me." She smiled. All comfy with one arm around his arm. It was just weird. What kind of game was this? Thought Heath.

"Is there a problem?" Rex looked at Heath then Nick. "Its OK if I have a date, isn't it?"

"Sure." Nick said right away but looked at Heath.

"I didn't- know...you knew each other." Heath shrugged. "It was just a surprise. That's all." He gave them a weak grin. Things were getting more interesting by the minute. The door bell rang. The group was here that Nick and Heath used to room with.

out of the ordinary

2010-10-20T01:23:00.044-05:00

Kelsey Mom had warned her that she'd hate living in the country. All alone. And in a trailer house. They could just blow away. Normally, she didn't think about it. But it was just her and Owen. Alone. A lot lately. And when a car drove up. Well, Kelsey wasn't going to answer the door. They were locked up pretty tight. She had her cell. She was about to text Jack who did check in with her once an hour like clock work. But when she knew it was Olivia, she opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" She was surprised that Olivia had came alone. She was mainly Nick and Heath's friend. Not hers, but they were in the same circle. She brought food from the grocery store. Roasted chicken and mashed potatoes along with a salad.

"I know." She winced. "I should have called. Just this last minute thing. Had the day off. And I just wanted to see the baby." She promised.

Kelsey watched Olivia make herself home in the kitchen.

"Have you eaten?" She asked.

"No." She shrugged, wondering if she remembered breakfast. She was so tired, but she managed to do a little housework when Owen would sleep.

"So, how's married life?" Olivia grinned as she got the plates set out and the food ready for them on the plates.

"I haven't had time to think about it." Kelsey shrugged as if Olivia could quickly figure out that she'd married Jack because she wanted to get away from, everything.

"When do you think you'll go to college?" Olivia seemed concern about it.

"I dunno." She shrugged. It wasn't like Jack was keeping her from it. If she wanted to go, she was sure he was all right with it. Kelsey yawned then. At least Owen was in his crib asleep.

"You know Owen looks so much like you." Olivia assured her then.

"Is that good or bad?" Kelsey wondered as she dug into the mashed potatoes and gravy.

"You know its good." Olivia smiled back. She asked questions about Jack and Grady. She talked a little about her boyfriend Ravi and all the classes he was taking at the university. "Do you still want to go there?"

"Maybe." Kelsey had other things on her mind though. Of course, the baby. Her life with Jack. Sometimes, he made her think he was glad she was here, other times, she wondered if she were just in the way.

Olivia stayed the afternoon. She played with Owen. Helped with his bath. Folded laundry. She missed having company.

"So just what do you newlyweds do for fun?" Olivia asked so slyly.

Kelsey looked at her wide-eyed, thinking it was none of her business.

"Maybe you'd like to have my old copy of this." Olivia got out a battered copy of Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey.

"What's it for?" Kelsey didn't get it.

"Its just something silly Ravi and I do. We read random lines of it to each other. You know, give it your sexiest voice. Its hilarious." She shoved it to Kelsey. "We're finished with this one."

"You're telling me? You're turning Jane Austen into smut?" Kelsey laughed softly.

"Kind of. I guess." Olivia shrugged. Kelsey sighed. She couldn't imagine getting Jack to read one line out of this book.

farther from the truth

2010-10-18T02:34:00.030-05:00

"You are coming to this dinner, aren't you?" Nick asked Jack when he made his daily stop at the library.

"I dunno." He was looking at his dirty finger nails. "Who's gonna be there?"

"Lots of people. Well, friends Kelsey went to school with, mostly, but its for both of you. Like a wedding slash baby shower." Nick told him.

Jack made a face as if he didn't want to have a part of it.

"Even Ellie and Lon are coming." Nick smiled. "You know them."

"I dunno. I." He closed his eyes, shook his head. "You know, this is for Kelsey, mainly, right?" He finally looked at Nick with a wince. "I should just-"

"You can't not go." Nick glared at him. "You are the husband."

Jack looked as if he might choke.

"Gawd, all right." But Jack didn't look none to pleased about it.

"So is everything going OK?" Nick wanted to know.

"Just peachy," Jack said so cynical. "I just like staying home, OK?" He remained soured and bit cold to Nick.

"You knew it was going to hit you, sometime, rushing into all this with Kelsey. You knew-" Nick started.

"OK! I got it." He stared at Nick then. "We'll be there with bells on. All right." He gritted then.

"Look, nobody is trying to figure this thing out with you and Kelsey. We want to help you. You're almost family." Nick told him.

Jack bit his bottom lip. He nodded.

"I just- I hope both of you are happy." Nick smiled then, but Jack looked away as if he could care less what Nick said to him.

the claws of it

2010-10-16T03:33:00.043-05:00

Jack felt as if he'd fallen into a nice sunny day. The beginning of it too. He thought he remembered the exact same thing. Maybe. The sun coming up. In a corn field. Stalks were so tall. He was much younger then. And he heard the black dog ahead of him, wrestling the stalks. His breathy sounds of panting.

"Sam!" The dog was getting ahead of him. He started to run down the rows to catch up, as if Sam might leave for good this time, and never come back. Never come back. Jack caught his breath. Sunflowers were in the way. He got conked on the head. Sam was no where in sight. Suddenly, Jack stopped. He could sense it. Someone was watching him. Some one knew he was there. Jack began to feel himself shake ever so slightly. He knew who was there. He knew who was right behind him. Jack turned around, startled. His toes in the fertile ground. It wasn't at all who he expected. Jack stared at him. His sun bleached hair falling over one eye.

"Lon? What are you doing here?" Jack stood there shocked. Perhaps scared. Why was he in this reaccuring dream? Jack didn't get it. He squinted hard. Next thing he felt was something sharp. Terribly sharp, piercing into his lower back.

Jack flinched and floundered out of bed. Wide awake now as he looked at Kelsey spread across the bed, making the most of a queen sized bed. He went to look at the wound, or what he could make of it in the bathroom. Yes, he was bleeding. He snatched the toenail clippers from the bathroom and turned on the lamp on his side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" She fretted. It was three in the morning.

He didn't answered but grabbed her foot from under the cover and sat on the edge of the bed. He started clipping toenails.

"Its like sleeping with catwoman." He told her.

Kelsey swelled a frown, fretting slightly. He didn't ask her to go to Owen's room to sleep. He just clipped all 10 toe nails, put the nail clippers on the night stand, and went back to bed.

"Now I'm awake." She informed him.

"You woke me up first." He just said, not really wanting to go back to that dream. He winced then thinking of Lon. He wanted to think of him as friend. Someone who wanted to help him build a fence. Who wanted him to come see him and his family. He didn't know what the dream meant. But it was the first time someone showed up who wasn't suppose to be there. He slightly shuttered as Kelsey cuddled next to his bare back. He felt her chin on his shoulder. How in the world could she possibly sleep that way, he wondered, but soon he eased back to sleep too, and there was no corn field this time.

adjusting

2010-10-14T01:43:00.050-05:00

"How did it feel?" Ellie questioned Kelsey who was breast feeding Owen. They were in the bedroom, chatting. Ellie had brought them a casserole and a baby blanket she'd crocheted.

"What?" Kelsey winced. She felt almost an old timer at this. They had with stood the last few weeks getting down a schedule that was subject to change at anytime. At least her mother had gone home.

"You know, when you started breastfeeding?" Ellie watched. Kelsey tried not to be intimidated.

"Well, at first its like. So, so what, but then it gets to the point that you feel like you are carrying a bunch of rocks on your chest and only he can relieve the pain, but then once he's latched on it can get weird. Totally." Kelsey told her.

"Like how?" Ellie still seemed lost about the process as she sat there holding her own belly. "Sometimes, I wish I could start breastfeeding now so I'd know what I was doing when the baby actually got here. Does that sound weird?"

"Yeah, it does." Kelsey winced with a laugh. "Really, let me tell you, enjoy these last few months and much as possible, get as much sleep as you possibly can because once the baby gets here, you won't get any. I can't say I've really slept since the baby has been born."

"So how's..how's Jack doing with all this...stuff." Ellie moved on to something else that seemed to be bugging everyone Kelsey knew. Why was she with Jack?

"Oh God, he could sleep through anything." Kelsey sighed. Just then she moved Owen to her left breast. She covered up as much as possible.

"Does he help you?" Ellie moved slightly as if she might have a cramp. Lon had drove and he and his son were out back with Jack and Grady.

"Of course, he does." Kelsey looked at Ellie as if she just didn't get that they were a family. "Really, he takes over with Owen, a lot. He'll take a bottle from Jack. And yeah, I get naps.

"You two aren't, you know." Ellie gave a little shiver.

"What? Sex. Of course not. God, I can't believe you..you'd think ...that..NOW." She startled Owen and he awoke. His little arms spanned out, but she hugged him close. He went back to nursing. Kelsey touched the back of Owen's head coated with dark hair like her own. She didn't want to admit it, but this might be the closest thing she'd ever have to sex.

too many questions

2010-10-12T01:30:00.031-05:00

"What are you saying?" Nick set down the hot bowl of stew in front of Heath at the kitchen table. "Maria moved here, because of you?" Nick set down with his and dipped a biscuit in the beefy broth and took a bite.

"No." Heath slightly scowled as he buttered his biscuit. "I'm just saying it was weird seeing her at the grocery store."

"But you think she still wants you?" Nick couldn't help but grin. "You're still haute."

"Stop it. No. I'm - I'm just wondering why she left out there. You know, I mean, did something happen?" He shrugged as he took in a spoonful of carrots and green beans.

"Did you ask her?" Nick looked up at Heath who seemed to want to concentrate on the stew instead of this talk about Maria.

He shook his head, no. "Where is Rex, by the way?" Heath then asked.

"Worked late, I guess. Maybe he went to see the baby." Nick didn't know. He went ahead and enjoyed the meal. He finished up with a glass of milk. The nights had more of chill, lately. It was really fall. "We should go apple picking."

"OK." Heath drank the rest of his milk too.

"We should make an apple pie." Nick decided.

"No, lets just buy a carmel apple pie when we go to the apple orchard." Heath's idea.

"Then whats the point of picking apples?" Nick went to clean up then.

"You always have to find a point to everything, don't you?" Heath informed him as he followed him to the sink.

"What's your point?" Nick turned to him then.

"Ha ha ha." Heath rested his hand on Nick's lanky waist. They kissed longingly then. All was quiet. It was definitely a good feeling to be home. Together.

shark in the water

2010-10-10T11:27:00.019-05:00

"So, I could come over?" Rex sneaked up behind Maria who was reaching for a carton of eggs. She turned and smiled at him.

"If you have nothing better to do." She smiled.

"Well, you know I don't." They texted each other a lot. He still hadn't mentioned it to Nick nor Heath. Of course, he hadn't helped her with the move, either. He liked her place even if it were old and just one room with a bathroom. There was space for a kitchen in the corner and a big bay window that lit the place up, day or night.

"Then I'll make you dinner." She shrugged.

"I'd like that." Rex bit a smile. Yes, this was more than being smitten. He wished he could tell her everything. He'd left out Kelsey and the baby. Baby Owen which he saw about once a week. Usually, Jack was there. Kelsey's mother too. It was just for an hour or so. He'd hold the baby, or watch him sleep. Rex still wasn't sure he was ready for the day when Kelsey said he could have him for the weekend. He wasn't sure he could manage Owen for 4 hours, but with Maria around...it could be possible. But he didn't want to need her for such an occasion.

It was quite simple, he just needed to get away from everything. She was just that. Getting away from everything, or was that..just getting away with it.

Rex sighed. "We'll, I'll see you as soon as I get off, OK?"

"OK." Her smile was so genuine, and he definitely didn't want to wreck this with her.

a chance of meeting.

2010-10-08T01:12:00.022-05:00

Heath had a lot going on these days. He'd just found out he'd be directing Hamlet. He was happy and nervous about that. But as it was, everything was coming along lovely at school which he was sure something would come falling apart soon. But what?

Then there was this whole Kelsey and Jack celebration that Nick wanted to do for them. It would be a dinner party. Nick was focused on that and not a thing to eat in the house. So, here he was in the grocery store in produce trying to pick up a few things for dinner. They had to eat. They were still both growing boys.

He couldn't help himself and wonder why Nick hadn't got groceries. No milk. Not even a slice of the bread. The dog had eaten what leftovers he could. Heath wasn't exactly happy about this as he looked at fruit and finally found a red apple he liked. He got grapes and so on. When he looked up, he thought he saw a ghost. However, he knew she wasn't. But there was this young woman who looked like somebody he knew. He was suppose to know her, but he hadn't seen her in ages. He blinked. It was Maria.

"What are you doing here?" Heath got this strange feeling that maybe she was following him. He didn't want to have it, but it was there clinging to him like a bad vibe.

"Heath." She smiled then. "Oh, my God." She shook her head as if this was the worst timing ever. "I've been meaning to call you, but everything has been so hectic. I got a job here at the middle school."

"What?" How could she? Seriously? Was she still in love with him, he first thought. OK, it was the only thought swimming around in his head. His eyes lit. He didn't know what else to say. "Great!" Heath tried to laugh as if he were happy about it, but he really wasn't. He didn't really want to have anything to do with her.

"How's Nick?" She came around to put her avacados in a basket.

"Great. Fantastic, really." OK, he might have made it more wonderful than it was, but it was great.

"Good." She nodded. "I was going to call you. Really, I was, but I thought I should get settled."

Heath just nodded as she explained how she didn't live all that far from here. She'd taken a place that was no more than a space in a rooming house, but it was roomy and cheap.

"We'll have to get together, sometime." Heath was even lipped. Maria just nodded and was on her way. He watched her go. Heath couldn't imagine what she was really up too.

reaching for the torch

2010-10-06T01:36:00.024-05:00

"Ready to throw in the towel yet?" Nick looked Jack over when he stopped in for lunch with his Dad at the library.

"What? I look that bad." Jack squinted.

"Just a little?" Nick shrugged. "Look, we want to do something. I called some of her friends and we want to throw a party. But I just don't know where. Your place?"

"Huh," Jack closed his eyes. Nick thought he might take a nap right then. "You don't have too. Nobody possibly thinks this is going work, anyway." He sighed.

"What do you mean?" Nick squinted.

"Never mind." Jack shook his head.

"You know I used to date Kelsey." Nick told him.

Jack just smiled. Finally a slight nod.

"Just remember, Rome wasn't built in a day." Nick gave him a sly smile, but he still wondered if there was any real romance there. What was really going on with Kelsey and Jack? "Look, we want to be there for guys. Just call us. Put Rex on diaper duty, if nothing else."

"You better talk to Kelsey about that." He yawned big then as if he might go to his truck for a nap or maybe a quiet place where the magazines were.

can't walk in sleep for you

2010-10-04T01:38:00.054-05:00

"You know you need her." Jack finally got up the courage to tell Kelsey a few days later when he came home from work.

"No, I don't." She looked pretty beat, and he couldn't think of the last time she showered. As it was she wouldn't leave Owen alone with her mother in fear she might try some old house wives remedy on him.

"Well, she needs to be needed, you know." He winced not sure what the real answer was to the situation. A part of himself felt he might really know a whole new meaning to that song, Burning Ring of Fire. What had he got himself into? Of course, all he got was a scowl out of Kelsey. He took the baby from her. "Just shower, and I'll think of something."

Owen was so tiny and slightly larva-like. It was hard to tell who he really looked like yet. But he was alive and well in Jack's arms. He hated to put him down. Before he knew it he had Grady practically choking him by pulling on his T-shirt when he sat down with the baby at the couch. Grady had to investigage. Any other time, Jack might have come unglued, but at the moment he might as well have been an old dog with a pup who was trying to torment him, and this thing had decided to go to sleep on him in his arms.

"Sorry, we live so far away." He got up and walked with the baby into the kitchen where Kelsey's mother was getting some supper together. Grady followed hanging on to his leg.

Her mother, Leslie just gave him a solemn look as if she weren't having any fun, either.

"Maybe, you could go back home for a couple of days and come out later. Maybe some of her friends could-"

"What friends?" Her mother looked at him seriously. "She doesn't have any friends. She scares them away."

"We went to see that one friend of hers." That couple in Lincoln. They were friendly and Jack envied them a little. He wanted what they had. A family. "Ellie and her husband."

"Kelsey is not the best friend in the world." Leslie informed him. "She likes things her way or no way at all."

Jack nodded as if he understood. "I guess she's a lot like you, then."

Her mother went back to peeling potatoes. Really, he couldn't wait to try her meatloaf. He wouldn't mind having her around for a little longer, and he was getting used to Kelsey's knee in his back when she slept with him.

homebound

2010-10-02T01:15:00.030-05:00

Kelsey was at her wits end trying to figure out the breast feeding. She didn't know how many times at the hospital that her Dad and even Jack's Dad walked in on her while breast feeding. Actually, Owen seemed to know more than she did. A natural instinct, she supposed.

But still it was a painful process, and she wondered if it was worth it.

"The sooner you stop the better." Just the thing she didn't want to hear from her mother. And that was all she heard about after she got home. Her mother moved into the guestroom, and she felt bad for Jack that he was having to put up with all this too. But he managed to sleep through all the lights coming on in the night, the crying and her mother telling her how she was doing everything wrong.

Of course, Jack got out of their way every morning. Dropped Grady off to daycare and then went on to work.

"The sooner you leave the better." Kelsey ended up telling her. She would figure this out on her own. She just couldn't give up on this. She needed time. And she needed to be alone with Owen.

"But you'll be alone." Her mother told Kelsey. "Aren't you afraid to be alone off out here, like this?"

"Mom, I'll be OK." She felt sure she would be fine on her own.

"But I don't want to leave you." Her mother just couldn't.

"Then be quiet. Go watch a soap opera or something. I just need to be alone with Owen." Kelsey couldn't take all this lecturing.

"I don't even know why you came up with that ghastly name." Her mother hugged herself.

"Mom." She wanted to tell her to shut up. "I need juice. All right. I want juice." She felt as if she had to order her mother around or she'd never get this figured out. Did Owen want milk, or was she just his pacifier?

basically speaking

2010-09-30T02:00:00.026-05:00

Heath guessed everything was back to normal. Everything simmered down. Kelsey was home and he'd just survived his first whole week at the new school. Teaching drama and speech all day. What more could he ask for? All the kids seemed to want to be there, so that was a plus. He liked having a gig that was just 101 for the most part. The speech class was for those who knew what they were doing. If only it were his first class instead of last for the day, it might have been a perfect schedule.

Still, Jack was on his mind, and what he had said to him. He wished he could have said something. Something that would stick, but he had nothing. Nothing really. He didn't want to make the wound any deeper or try to figure him out with more questions. If only he had. What was Jack really trying to tell him?

"So who could ask for a better time?" Nick was all smiles. He'd made dinner and they were thinking of going to the flea market this weekend. Maybe build some shelves for the garage. And if those turned out... well then possibly Nick had an idea for an entertainment center. It was just talk. Heath wasn't exactly in the mood to start a building project. Perhaps he could take Nick's mind off the idea.

"Yeah. We're here together. Its the best." Heath assured him as he dug into the spaghetti dish. He tried to think on Jack and what was really wrong. Or what had happened. Something before Heath really knew him. He was sure of it now.

"You never did say how that went with Jack?" Nick brought up then as if wondered now. "You know, I'm not sure that was the best place to pick on him like that. The hospital."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Heath sighed. "I had no right to do that. And, and well, they seem happy."

"Yeah, they do." Nick agreed. "Its just we still need to do something for them. I mean, the are kind of like family. Well, they are. I am an uncle."

"Yeah." Heath cynically laughed. "Yeah, your the uncle to your ex-girlfriend's baby who just so happened-" He couldn't finish the sentence. It was true. Jack was never a real boyfriend. He had been a bully, first and far most. "Yeah, yeah, we should do something for them. We could bring them dinner."

Of course, Nick was about to load up the leftover right then.

"Some time." Heath glared at him. "Not tonight." No, they had the night to themselves. Rex was at work. All was quiet. All was good. Heath had to remember that.

how about that

2010-09-28T01:50:00.036-05:00

"I think he looks like you." Nick grinned as he looked at the baby pictures on his digital camera and then at Rex. They were wondering around the hospital at the gift shop. Nick kept shaking his head at every little thing Rex picked up.

"It's too expensive." Nick mouthed.

"I dunno what to do." Rex looked beat, unsure where he even was. Nick got him to sit down at the cafeteria while he went to get them some coffee and pie.

"Just try to enjoy the moment, OK." Nick told him. "You guys are talking."

"Sort of." Rex shrugged.

"Still shocked about the whole Jack and Kelsey thing. But you know. They don't live that far away." Nick reminded him.

"Yeah." Rex warmed his hands on the coffee mug. "God, I guess you want me moving out, don't you?" Rex rubbed his eyes then.

"No. Stay. Just try to get your act together. Save up." Nick smiled. "Didn't that boss of yours say something about you being management quality?"

"What are mom and dad going to think? I mean, they all expect me to get some fancy job in Kansas City, you know." He sighed.

"Who cares what they think. You have a job. And they aren't all that easy to come by these days." Nick shrugged. "It'll be OK."

"I don't get why Kelsey's with him. Do you?" Rex winced.

"Haven't a clue. Maybe she sees something in him that no one else can." Nick dug into his cherry pie then. Rex finally stuffed a heap of blueberry pie in his mouth. Nick guess it was a quiet celebration, but Rex was a dad now and he was an uncle.

name within a name

2010-09-26T01:34:00.046-05:00

"You thought of a name yet?" Jack finally popped in after everyone left. It was just Kelsey and the baby now.

"No." She looked at the baby that everyone told her was the perfect size. He was a little over six pounds. She was never sure what they were trying to get at. Her Mom said he was too small, but the nurses told her not to worry. He was asleep in her arms in his little blue hat. He was so alive and she was getting used to the weight of him. It was as if he was just trying out her arms at the moment. "Rex said I could name him, that he'd be OK with anything I liked."

Jack nodded. "Sounds like it should be easy then. Its up to you." She wasn't smiling though.

"I only could think of girl names." She looked sad about it. "He was suppose to be a Hannah."

"I dunno what to tell you. Just think of a name that makes you smile. You know, so you'll be smiling before you say his name in the morning or when you tuck him in at night." Jack hugged himself.

"I can't think of anything." She shook her head. "Can you?"

"I really shouldn't." He shook his head.

"I'm so tired, I can't even think of my own name." She looked at him miserably.

"OK, which one sounds good to you? Rain, River, Gage, Owen, Logan or Liam." Jack rattled off.

"I dunno. Which one goes best with Grady?" She asked.

"Owen?" He guessed.

"Owen." Kelsey smiled then. "Owen." She liked it.

where the wind blows

2010-09-24T02:10:00.064-05:00

"What are trying to prove?" Heath didn't understand Jack. This was just crazy. Jack was the last person he he expected with Kelsey. He'd heard the news from Rex. Still didn't seem possible. But he was alone now with Jack out in the hallway. Nick had gone in to see the baby and Rex in Kelsey's hospital room.

"What? You want them to arrest me or something?" Jack just gave him a sly smile.

"You're gonna wake up, some day, and know its a mistake. A big mistake." Heath leaned there against the wall next to Jack who just gave him a shrug.

"I'm not trying to be hero." He shook his head. "I'm not. Its just. I didn't want to be alone. She didn't want to be alone. I dunno. Can't be the worst mistake I ever made, can it?" His eyes met Heath's then.

"What kind of lies did you tell her?" Heath wanted to know.

"I didn't." He looked away then. "Look, I might not be right for anybody." His voice was low. "And maybe I'll never be fixed, but at least its enough. OK. Its enough." He sniffed slightly and walked away. But Heath followed.

"You're just gonna leave out the part of you and me, aren't you? You're not gonna tell her, are you?" He pulled Jack toward him.

Jack wiped his wet nose with the sleeve of his plaid shirt. He almost laughed as he looked back at Heath.

"You know what that was? We had. It wasn't love." He shook his head. "It was me having power over you. That's not the way love works." He bit his upper lip. "And I know its my fault. Its all my fault. And for the longest time, I couldn't help it. I didn't want to, even." He rubbed his eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry. I am. And I'm tired. I'm so tired of being that person. If I can have a home to come home to like anybody else, that's all I'm asking. That's all I'm asking."

Heath backed away. He looked at Jack. He didn't know what to say. No more words were spoken even if he wished Jack would tell him everything. He knew Jack wouldn't. He knew Jack didn't have too.

an unlikely thought

2010-09-22T01:06:00.037-05:00

Rex stalled. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't face Kelsey. He came to the hospital, but he didn't want to be there for the delivery. As it was, Jack had been there for the duration.

"I just don't want to upset her." Rex told Jack even if the real reason was that he didn't want to see the grossness of it.

"You sure?" Jack was willing to let him take over.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He felt like throwing up, already. His nerves were getting to him. He didn't want to see her in pain. He just wanted someone to come out and tell him the baby way born. Even then, he didn't know if he wanted to be the first to hold it. He could stay on the side-lines. He'd pretty much stayed in the dark during most of this, anyway. At least, she wanted to keep the baby now and maybe, maybe he'd have a chance to be a weekend Dad if nothing else, but he didn't expect that anytime soon. As it was, he was even slow to call his parents. Finally he called Nick told him the news.

"Maybe you could call them." Rex still couldn't believe it. It was a shock. It just didn't seem quite real to him.

Nick told him he would. They were on their way. He guessed he wanted Nick and Heath's support. But he didn't know why. He wasn't doing anything. What was he suppose to do? Get flowers? A teddy bear? Instead he reached for his cell and called Lisa, the first girl he'd ever really been in love with. Maybe she was the only girl he'd ever loved.

"Hey, I'm gonna be Dad." He told her. It felt like butterflies in his stomach. Of course, she didn't pick up. It was quite early in the morning. Maybe it was just as well that he left her message. He wasn't sure what he'd say if he heard her voice. It would bring back too many memories of a forgotten time. Even if he hadn't thought he'd be still so emotional about it.

He sat down then and thought about the child they could have had. How old would it have been now? Probably starting school by now. Maybe. He wished he wouldn't think about what could have been. But then maybe he wouldn't feel so stuck in his life right now. Maybe he would be different. Rex was choking up. Feeling more alone now than he ever thought possible.

Just then Jack motioned for him to come with him. Got him dressed in a paper gown.

"You don't want to miss this, you don't." He pushed him through the doors, and that's when Rex got first glimpse of what was really happening in the labor room.

who's in charge

2010-09-20T01:50:00.040-05:00

Jack wasn't really ready for this. He didn't know why. Everything else had fell into place, but when the contractions started during dinner, it kind of spoiled his appetite even if she'd heave the word "Eat" out ever so often. Those contractions were coming a lot quicker than anyone planned.

They got situated at the hospital soon enough. His Dad came to stay with Grady. Of course, her mother had to come along even if Kelsey insisted that she didn't want her too. It felt like a slow process. Everyone, running around circles, it seemed just to get Kelsey in the car.

"Just don't wreck my car." Was all she said to him as if her mother would be really mad if he did. He got her there, hoping this would be a bonding moment with her and her mother, but instead, Kelsey screamed at her mother and told her she couldn't stand her perfume. He'd hoped he'd have some time to get coffee, pace the halls, but know she grabbed his hand so tight. There were times, he really did think she might turn into something not human. Finally a little after midnight, he got a hold Rex when Jack told the nurse he had to go to the bathroom.

Kelsey finally got around to telling him about Rex that night when Jack guessed he decided she could stay. He just looked at her as if he'd expected to hear that. It was a small world, after all. Then there was all this talk about how her mother thought she had it all figured out for her about the baby. Kelsey told him she'd changed her mind. She wanted to keep the baby, but she didn't want Rex there when the baby was born. Jack didn't want to make Rex, mad either.

"Yeah, its coming. You might want to get here." He said to Rex as soon as he heard his voice. He listened to Rex sound so indifferent and kind of sad. "Just come on. Just get your ass down here. You'll be glad you did." He smiled when he got off the phone. He was definitely not going to offer any names. The baby might be named after a dog, and he guessed that wasn't exactly fitting.

not possible

2010-09-18T01:37:00.030-05:00

"Did you know about Kelsey?" Heath's question baffled Nick, who pulled off his wire rim glasses. He was in the middle of reading The Hunger Games while laying in bed.

"Know what?" He put the glasses and book away.

"Jack." Heath winced. "She's with Jack."

"No. That can't be right." Nick shook his head, kind of laughed. "She doesn't even know him."

"Rex seems to think she does. He saw them together." Heath told him.

"That's just crazy." Nick chuckled. "I don't see how."

"Definitely some strange stuff has been going on while we were away." Heath decided as he pulled back the covers and shucked his flannel pants to be in his briefs.

"I just can't see it. Not Jack." Nick shook his head. He cut the light and turned to Heath. "I'll believe it when I see it." He pushed his fingers through Heath's bangs. He definitely didn't want to think about those two right now. He felt Heath's hand at his side pulling him in. They kissed. Nope, no more thoughts of Jack and Kelsey.

pieces of the puzzle

2010-09-16T01:25:00.029-05:00

"So how's Kelsey?" Heath thought he should at least ask. He wasn't really sure he wanted to know, but there was Rex on his way to work. Of course, Heath was getting ready for bed, but he thought he might need a snack. Nick was studying something on his laptop, upstairs.

"She seems fine to me." Rex barely said as he grabbed an apple from the kitchen table to take with him.

"So, you've talked?" He guessed all the drama was over. Everything was back to normal. At least Rex had a job. Maybe things were normal now.

"Not really." Rex looked at him as if he'd rather not talk about her. "I guess she met someone."

"Really?" Heath couldn't imagine someone that pregnant, dating. "That's kind of weird." Heath almost squinted a grin.

"Yeah," Rex nodded. "It was weird when I saw them. It was like they'd known each other forever."

"You know this person?" Heath reached in the fridge then for some milk. He checked to see all his containers were ready full of cold tea. He was ready for school.

"I guess you know him too." Rex was leaving.

"What? Who?" Heath looked at Rex as he was going out the back door.

"Its Jack. I saw them at the grocery store." Rex told him. He slammed the door behind him.

Heath thought he was going to choke on his milk. Rex couldn't be right.

treading water

2010-09-14T01:50:00.041-05:00

Kelsey knew some day she'd look back on all of this and know what a fool she really was, but right now that wasn't important to her. She stood their looking at the livingroom of her new home. It seemed so now. Funny, how it had been quicker to get married in Nebraska than Iowa. It was all sort of a blur. A trip to Wal-mart for rings. Slurping down cherry lemonade at Sonic. And some paperwork to fill out and the formality of it. She wasn't even wearing her clothes. Someone else's maternity clothes.

She winced then. It wasn't a mistake. It wasn't. There was just something burned into her soul that she couldn't take another chance at home. She was sure of it, in a tragic dream there would be no do overs. This time if she drove off all emotional, it would be the end. The end of it. And maybe that was what she'd wanted for some time about the baby, but now she didn't feel that way. Not with Jack, around with Grady. It all felt like a pleasant surprise now. There was no anger with Rex to concern her. She knew it. Even her blood pressure was down.

But there was her mother to worry about. More so than her dad because after all he did whatever her mother wanted. He always took her side. Always. And now it felt like an accomplishment, some how to have someone on her side.

Of course, there was that thing, Jack would not talk about. She would just assume he'd forget about it because what ever it was...was ancient history. This was now. And she knew he needed her. He did. And even if everyone thought it was a convenient of circumstance, they were wrong.

But the fact remained, there were those little moments to get through. Her mother coming to dinner for starters. It felt like leaps over rocky waters. It pained to know how she might get through this. How her mother would object. How could she? Was she insane?

Kelsey went to check on the roast in the crock pot. It was just too hot to heat the oven. What on earth had gotten in to her? She never cooked. Not really. But she'd watched enough. And it came so natural. Perhaps, it was this feeling... it was her kitchen, not her mother's. Or the thought of wanting to make cookies with Grady or watching Jack, surprised, there was supper waiting for him.

Soon enough, the boys were home and Jack washed up, set the table.

"Why won't she bring your Dad?" He asked.

"He's always busy." Kelsey shrugged. She couldn't remember the last time all three of them had had a meal together.

"That's too bad." Jack nodded, looking a the place settings for the three of them.

"Oh, she'll tell him everything. She always does." Kelsey hugged herself. The anticipation was killing her. The green beans and potatoes were done. A broccoli salad waited in the fridge. "Maybe she won't come." Kelsey smiled with hope, but soon enough a car-door slammed. Kelsey hated the thought. How would it be? Just how would it be? Would she always be her mother's misery. Soon as the door opened. Her mother found her way to her and hugged her so tight, Kelsey thought for sure she was going to choke.

Her mother was all smiles. Didn't ask one word about any of it. Her acceptance startled her. Kelsey felt a little dizzy as she sat down while Jack got the food.

"Are you all right?" Jack asked.

"I think so." Kelsey couldn't eat though. No, it was just not a good time to eat.

stumbling around

2010-09-12T01:15:00.012-05:00

Jack still wasn't sure how he was going to do this. What he'd say. How Kelsey's mom would react. He'd paced most of the morning at work when he wasn't off in his golf cart checking out something someone told him to do down at the park. Usually, it was kids. He'd have to tell them how dangerous the water levels were and not to go in.

Of course, he wondered just how much danger he was in, having lunch with Kelsey's mom. Especially, when he didn't tell Kelsey about it. As it was, it seemed the new place was Kelsey's little island. She didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. She'd had a dream. She was never going home, she informed him. Not right now, anyway.

"Kelsey is just fine." Jack told her mother after he introduced himself and hoped she didn't think he'd kidnapped her or anything. "I guess, she needs a little vacation, from everything." Every word he said made him wonder if her mother thought he had her down in a cellar somewhere and was just buying her time til she had that baby and then..

"Look, I know you want to see her. I would. And-and-maybe you could come out." He just looked at the woman wondering when. "Tonight."

Maybe she could talk her into coming home. He didn't know their troubles. Possibly, Kelsey was feeling something that wasn't even there. Or was that just with him?

"Whats going on with you two? Who are you?" Her mother sounded as if she was about to call the police.

"It was just an accident." It was, but he didn't want to go into Kelsey's speed demon ways. "I know she's got a lot to deal with, right now. And, and...." Jack licked his chapped lips. He wasn't sure he could look at her mother. Especially, with what he was about to say. "We got married."

last chance

2010-09-10T01:57:00.045-05:00

"What didn't we do this summer?" Nick looked back at Heath on the trail they were taking for a little hiking expedition. It wasn't mountain climbing, but Nick definitely felt out of shape.

"Camping. Fishing. I guess." Heath shrugged.

"You know, how we were gonna have everyone over. Olivia, Ravi, even Kyle and Amber. And Ellie. Everyone, for dinner." Nick was still hoping it would happen. "Weren't you going to invite that teacher you worked with, what was her name?"

"Maria?" Heath had the fishing rod cases. He wanted to do a little fly fishing.

"I wonder what she's doing this summer." Nick wondered if Heath knew.

"You know, I don't like to talk about her." Heath gave him a stare.

"Sorry." Nick kept up the trail. Hopefully the lake would be around the bend. "You don't think she's still in love with you, do you?"

"God, no. Please, I'd rather enjoy the essence of our surroundings than bringing up a very bad memory." Heath tensed.

"Is that why you only gave her the house phone number and not your cell number?" Nick questioned as he walked backwards then.

"I dunno. Maybe. I-I just like only having your number in my cell so I can only talk to you. I don't like giving out my cell number." Heath winced.

"OK. Of course." Nick tugged at his back pack. "I hope we eat soon." He was carrying lunch. They'd bought a loaf of French bread and sausage and cheese and some fruit. It would go good with the imported beer. Not that they planned on getting intoxicated. Just, Nick would rather be swimming than fishing.

Nick saw the lake first. So tranquil and at peace. There was no one but the two of them to disturb the creatures beneath the water. Nick put down the back pack. A grin came to his face. First the T-shirt went and the rest came off piece by piece. He went for the water.

"I'm never gonna get a fish now." Heath yelled.

"That's kind of the point." Nick called back as he splashed in water. "Come on in, its perfect." Nick watched Heath undress. Now they were doing something he'd wanted to do all summer. Skinny-dipping.

it should have been in a French movie

2010-09-08T01:07:00.055-05:00

Was he alone again? The sunlight washed over him. Rex squinted hard as he laid there in bed. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be, but still. Still. It had happened.

First it felt like this thing he always did. Well, back in the fraternity. Back at the uni. There were always some party to go to. Hook up. Have some fun and then it seemed to be a faded thought, due to alcohol or some substance.

Now his eyes were wide awake and his hand first touched the other side of the bed. It was cold. Completely. Maria was gone. A chill came over him, like he might be ill. Perhaps he'd met his match. He guessed. Could it be possible, they were more alike than he could imagine. Then he rose up on his elbows. Shook his head. He'd just been with a teacher, and she was Heath's best friend back at the school out in western Nebraska.

He fumed a bit as he sat up on the edge of his bed. He stared at the old wooden floor for a bit as his toes touched the grooves of wood. Rex sighed. He was no better, but no worse. At least it took his mind off Kelsey. He hadn't thought of her for hours. Then he remembered seeing her with Jack. What was he supposed to do about that?

He wasn't going to think about it. He jerked on his jeans and went downstairs. Funny how thirty seconds ago he thought he was alone, but then he smelled the coffee. Maria was in the kitchen. She was dressed and there was toast. It was as if nothing was out of place. Except the two of them. He guessed.

"I'm-" Was an apology necessary?

"Oh, I should never drink wine. Even white wine." She smiled as she handed him a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, but you know, I made Margaritas. It was your recipe, remember?" They had quite a little party. He vaguely remembered. It had lasted through most of the afternoon. He thought they'd played football in the back yard and then they danced. She made enchiladas, and they did some serious talking after dinner. He squinted, thinking she did know everything about Kelsey. And he knew about her and some old boyfriend..and they still found time to fall into whatever this was. A one night stand. He guessed.

They drank coffee then. It was quiet. It was as if it were some silly dream now that wasn't quite reality.

"I have to get back." She said, getting ready to go after toast and eggs.

"Yeah, uh-" Rex wasn't sure where this was going. "I guess we'll-" He wasn't even sure if he had her phone number.

"I'll call. I'll let you know what happens." She slightly smirked.

"The job?" He nodded, wishing she'd call anyway. Maybe. "I'd like to know, you know, whatever happens."

Her stare stayed with him. He wondered if this was nothing. She kissed him after she said goodbye. Maybe she would be back. Maybe, he thought.

the good and the bad

2010-09-06T01:26:00.089-05:00

"Why haven't you gone home yet?" Jack questioned. He was certain now that Kelsey never took him serious. She'd made something he liked again. Possibly, he'd eat anything. This time chicken pot pie. He needed the recipe. It was basically chicken and biscuits, but it was even better than it looked. He forked through it, trying to figure out what she'd used for the gravy.

"I dunno." She sounded kind of pessimistic. "I can't. I guess. I can't go back. It'll never be the same. It won't."

Jack nodded. He was picking out the different vegetables. He didn't want to eat it, but he would because he missed chicken pot pie. He looked at her.

"Is it that bad?" She asked.

"No." He shook his head, shoveled it in to show her that wasn't the problem. Grady already ate his. He was a mess. She cleaned him up. Jack cleaned up his dish quick enough and got to the dishes before she did.

"Look," he didn't know how to tell her as he nursed his upper lip there in the kitchen. "Uh, I don't think I'm the guy for you." He tried to smile then.

"Why not." She looked at him as if he was trying to get out of this easy. "You- you're so good with him." She looked at Grady.

"Its not about that." He shook his head. "I'm not a real dad. OK." He went to wash a dish then. "I haven't meant to lie to you, or anything. But you gotta understand." He sighed. "I'm not who you think I am. Evidently. And-and, I hardly know what a home is."

Kelsey shook her head as if he weren't making sense. She went to sit alone in the living-room while Jack clanked dishes around. Of course, he had to let Grady out of the high chair. He was getting all fidgety. Finally, he went to give Grady a bath. Read him a story and rocked him a bit in the rocker in his room. Maybe she'd not be there in the living-room after he put Grady to bed. But there she was. Crying.

Jack's eyes watered.

"God, why does everything have to be so miserable." She looked up at him.

"I dunno. Its easy." He sat down next to her. "I mean, I think Grady is pretty great. And you know, I wasn't expecting we'd be together. I was just gonna help his mom out that one time and my Dad keeps telling me its a sign. A change of some kind. But I don't see how. I can't ever change." His face was full of tears then. He thought he might be sick.

"What happened?" She wanted to know.

"I'm just not a good person." He told her. "I can't ever be good."

"But you are a good person." She told her.

He shook his head. Jack tried to breath. He didn't want her to know. He didn't want anyone to know. He kept it buried so long. He thought maybe he'd forget. What had once felt like passion was now just a warped notion of what power could be. Perhaps it had never had anything to do with love. So how could he possibly know if he'd found it.

"When people do bad things to you," He sighed. "You do bad things to other people. And you don't deserve this. You don't. You deserve a lot better."

"But you'll take care of me. You will." Her faith sounded like a promise. And when she kissed him, he tasted the salt of her tears. It was as if she knew him, already.

one step beyond

2010-09-04T02:52:00.036-05:00

Maria had somehow managed her 9 a.m interview. She'd gotten up in the middle of the night to drive across a state just to cross a river to a little town that wasn't much bigger from where she came from. She still wasn't into moving into the city even if each year she said this would be the year she'd make the big move. Perhaps it was just too overwhelming still. And well, the rent had been nice where she was. Her parents kept reminding her to stay put. But she was tired of the same old problems. People watching her. People wanting her to be with certain people. She had to at least get away from that. Heath did. But when she found out she'd missed him, off with Nick in Denver, it was a little perturbing. She wasn't sure what to expect out of this mystery man she'd got on the house phone. Why had Heath given her the house phone number? Why couldn't she be in direct contact with him? Oh, she remembered now. He had a new life, and he really would never be into her.

So. She took a deep breath. Rang the doorbell. First thing she got when the door open was a black lab wanting to run between her legs and slap her butt with his wagging tail. Maria pretended to laugh it off. Heath had a dog? Why?

"You made it." The guy was friendly enough. Taller than Heath. She couldn't even remember what Nick looked like. "Maria, right?" He gave her a handshake then and went to put the dog up before she tripped over him.

"You must be..." Maria squinted hard then. "Rex?"

"Yes." He nodded and lead the way. "Uh, I stayed at work later this morning than I planned, but uh, I didn't cook anything."

She hadn't expected him too. She just stared at him, wondering what that meant. He wanted her to cook?

"Believe me, you wouldn't want to touch it if I had cooked, but I got a few things at the deli." He had a nice spread of food out. She would have never known it was from the deli. Everything was in a sweet little platter. It was a nice surprise. And there were sunflowers. Her favorite flowers.

"Thanks." She sat down and he asked about the interview which she wasn't expecting he'd remember. After a few minutes, she had this Rex figured out. He wanted her to do all the talking.

"So where do you work?" She said while forking the potato salad a part on her plate.

"Just the grocery store. The only grocery in town." He looked at her serious. "Lucky, I got on there. I guess." He finally got around to telling her he'd graduated college just to find out there were no jobs in his field. Exactly.

"Sorry, don't mean to be downer, but things are looking up. I go in soon to see about an assistant management position that might be opening up next month. Guess I'll work when ever they need me." He shrugged.

Maria smiled. She took a sip wine. Maybe it was good thing, she didn't have to see Heath, after all. It was good to meet new people. And what was even better, no one had set this up, as some sort of fix up date. There was nothing to report to anyone. She could just be herself. It was still a funny feeling, being off the radar with someone who didn't really know her.

happy town

2010-09-02T02:34:00.034-05:00

Heath had to wonder if they'd made it to every tourist trap yet. Of course, there was the fine dining which they did a little of. Soon enough they were tired of vegetarian tacos and all the healthy choices. They'd been to the mountains. After one light headed trip, Heath was certain he didn't want to live there.

"Its really amazing out here." Nick couldn't stop thinking of all the possibilities of living there. He loved the down town, but Heath was getting a little claustrophobic.

"Its expensive." Thats what he came down too. No way would he move out here if everything was so much more hip and modern. "I really don't think its us."

Nick gave him a look that he nixed everything.

"Oh, come on." Heath winced. "You know, how lucky you are? You couldn't get a job like you have now, out here. You just couldn't. You were at the right place at the right time. You know, you could have a degree and wait decades for something like you have. You know, there are not that many jobs in library science anymore."

"I know." Nick shrugged.

"Sorry." Heath wasn't sure why he had to bring that up. Possibly, he still wanted to be teaching out in western Nebraska because thats what he knew. And moving to a whole new state to teach, he was a little apprehensive. He didn't know anyone. He'd gone to a brunch. Found his classroom. Heard all the pep talks. Still this was so new. No religious studies. Just drama. Yeap, he guessed those library workshops won him over. Thanks to Nick.

"I don't see why you get so worked up over this new position. Isn't it everything you ever wanted?" Nick looked back at Heath who just stood in front of a shop, that was full of crockery.

"OK. I'm worrying for nothing." He sighed. Shoved his hands in the front pockets of his khakis. He'd have 4 productions to get through during the school year. Some of those were for state. Maybe. And then there were all those wannabe actors to worry about.

Nick hooked his arm around Heath. They weren't here to discuss what the future might bring, but right now.

"Lets go get tattoos." Nick smiled.

"Really?" Heath winced. Nick couldn't be serious, could he? Thought Heath.

coming undone in knots

2010-08-31T01:09:00.023-05:00

Rex wasn't certain it was Kelsey at first. But there she was. And she was with him. Rex attacked the cereal boxes with the price gun then. Click. Click. Click. More clicks. He just couldn't help himself.

What the hell? He winced. Kelsey was with Jack. How long had this been going on? Seriously, he wanted to know, but he wasn't going to ask. He was just going to ignore the hell out of her. Just as she was ignoring the hell out of him.

He gritted anger then. He was pissed. He thought he might bust a blood vessel in his neck, and he knew she wasn't worth getting that angry, over. Rex took a deep sigh. He got his work done. The two went on their way. It wasn't long until they were gone.

Just then the manager asked him if he could run the cash registor for him. Rex just nodded. He'd never ran one here, but he knew how. So he worked for a while cashiering. He looked at the clock. It was getting close to noon. They were putting out roasted chicken. He remembered Maria. Wasn't she coming at noon?

Luckily, who was supposed to work showed up so Rex clocked out and went to the deli. He had to think here. He knew he could find something. Lunch. He needed help. Luckily, Doris who ran the deli was there. He picked up a roasted chicken, rolls, a big salad from the salad bar. A few more things that Doris thought were really good.

"Oh, and don't forget the wine." She smiled.

Rex just smiled. He guessed Doris thought he was getting ready for his girlfriend because she brought him a very pretty bouquet of sunflowers.

a lovely ending

2010-08-29T02:50:00.049-05:00

"You tricked me." Jack looked at Kelsey who was finding more things they needed at the grocery store. They'd just got back from her friend's house. They hadn't gone to her parents. He thought she'd be home now. Possibly sleeping in her own bed in her own room at her parents. But that didn't happened. Instead he drove her to Ellie and Lon's house. "They weren't even expecting us."

"They didn't care." She shrugged as she plopped in another pack of toilet paper.

He guessed they didn't. But her friends were married. They had a baby already. Of course, Grady had fun. So much fun they spent the night. Since Grady went to sleep on them and there was the futon.

Jack chewed at the inside of his cheek. He studied Kelsey as she got things to make the place to smell better. He was a bit peeved with her.

He slept with her again. Not that he wanted to. And the house was so hot, he had to take off his shirt. He was in his boxers. Just a little too close for comfort. It didn't help any that her stomach was wedged in his back again. Then he tried to lay on his back and he felt her hand across his chest. But he was too tired to move. He'd managed to sleep through it.

"You know, we can have, exactly what they have." She cornered him then as they stopped in front of the baby things.

"Yeah, sure." He meant to mock, but she just smiled. "They're married."

"And."

"And, you know." He blew a breath. She got the pampers then and they moved on.

"You know, he looks just like you." She sighed then. He looked at Grady then. What in the world was she looking at? It was coming to Jack's attention now that Kelsey's head was full of fantasies. He grabbed a Harlequin romance for her then. "You sure you don't need something to read?"

She fussed with it, and put it back. Jack gave her a sly grin. Grady saw the donuts. He begged for them.

"Bud, we got brownies at home, you know." Jack looked at him.

"No we don't. Remember, we ate them." She gave him a dead stare then. He guessed he'd have to get a few. But Jack made certain they were the cake ones with nothing on them.

on the road

2010-08-27T03:37:00.029-05:00

Heath was ecstatic. Finally the occasion arrived. No driving. Just the two of them on a train.

"Maybe this'll give us more ideas just where to go." Heath was all smiles as they waited to find their spot on the train. They'd paid extra for the sleep car.

"Yeah, like San Diego." Nick smirked back.

"We are going there, you know, some day. We should. Maybe we should move there." Heath said out of the blue.

"Yeah, if we win the lottery." Nick joked.

Heath smiled back. Finally they found their space, and they were alone. They kissed. A longing one as if this was just the beginning. Heath looked at Nick then.

"No regrets, right?" Heath kept staring as if he'd know if Nick was worried. Heath didn't want to say Kelsey's name.

"Look, what can we do? Kelsey will do what Kelsey does. Just kind of feel bad for who ever it is she's found to hook up with." Nick remained steady.

"Well," Heath hoped they didn't bring her up again. She wasn't their problem. She really wasn't. "I certainly won't be trying to track this idiot down to tell him the truth about her. Maybe she's happy." He bit his bottom lip, and he unbuttoned Nick's shirt then. This show was on the road now. He could barely feel the train. Possibly, he'd been hoping for a roller-coaster ride. Evidently, they definitely had to have one of their own.

Nick sat down on the bed. They kissed more as they unwound each other with each breath and task. Heath gave way a soft laugh. Perhaps they were definitely on track now.

what trouble

2010-08-25T01:58:00.018-05:00

Rex hated Kelsey quite passionately now. He had never felt so in hate with anyone. Ever.

She'd made him sick. He couldn't sleep. It was as if she were determined to hate him, completely. It felt as if it were some-what common now. A fixed thought. Perhaps he'd found peace with it. He couldn't be sure. But at least he'd started stocking items at the nearby grocery store at night. At least, it kept him busy.

But now he had the house all to himself. Nick had Heath had left for their long train ride to Denver. Supposedly, they'd wake up there, but the way they talked..there would be no slumber in that sleep car. As if he wanted to hear about it.

Just as he was about to leave to go to his job, the phone rang. It was someone Heath used to work with. Maria.

"He's gone?" Maria sounded sad. "I was hoping I could stay there. A day or two. I-I found out there is a position in a school out there. Math and Science. I actually, teach art, but I can teach math and science. And I always wanted to, but-" She stopped then. "Sorry, I'm so sorry, you don't even know me."

"Well, I'm sure if you want to stop by, they'll be glad you did." He told her who he was, gave her directions. He said he'd be here when she got there tomorrow.

"You sure it won't be any trouble?" She asked.

Rex didn't want to say it couldn't be anymore trouble than the trouble he already knew.

not quite a plan

2010-08-23T01:41:00.039-05:00

Kelsey licked her dry lips. She hadn't meant to ask too much of Jack. The storm had scared her.

"It'll never happen again." She promised about sleeping with him. He'd wanted her to go home.

"Well, of course, it won't. You need to get back to..to who ever. You probably have people worried sick. You know that." Jack kept pushing that she needed to stop stalling. He'd even tried to make her mad.

Yes, they had a fuss that morning. Not a fight. Just him saying things that might have been true. He wondered if she wanted to be in an accident.

"I don't want to hurt my baby!" She was quick to point out. But he said she was hurting a lot of people by not telling them where she was nor what she was doing. "Go home."

Well, she hadn't. He'd gone off to work with Grady. He seemed certain that he would be just fine without her.

"What about last night. You-you needed me." She reminded him.

"I could have called my dad." He was stoic. Quite stubborn she thought. Why was he like that? Suddenly, sullen and wanting to push her away.

She was big on tears, lately. But she didn't let him know how upset she was. She'd gotten in her car, ready to leave and then she didn't. She made brownies instead. Even fried chicken. He liked to eat. And she was determined she'd figure out a way to stay.

"What is this?" He looked at her when he came home with Grady who got into the brownies before Jack could tell him, no. It helped that Grady fell right into her arms and patted her boobs as he knew what they were good for.

"I was thinking if we ate now, we would have plenty of time for you..to...maybe take a drive." She shrugged. There was potato salad to dig into as well and carrot and raisin slaw too. Jack just kept staring at the food.

"A drive? Where?" But he kept staring at the food.

"Possibly, my parents." She hugged herself then.

He pressed his lips tight. He didn't say anything but got him a plate going. Kelsey put Grady in his high chair. It didn't bother her at all that he had chocolate all over her.

it could happen

2010-08-21T01:30:00.023-05:00

There was something different about Jack, but Nick couldn't quite place it. He'd stopped by the library at lunch. Jack had just missed his Dad who had left with someone from city for a lunch date.

"The country life must be the good life." Nick teased.

"Yeah, not a lot of noise." Jack sighed. He was in his beige uniform. He looked kind of like a ranger, but not really. He wore a cap instead of one of those Mountie hats that the police guys wore.

"Listen, could you check on Rex while Heath and I are out in Denver." Nick thought he'd give it a shot. Jack and Rex seemed to get along. Sort of.

"I dunno. Kind of got my hands full at the moment." Jack told him. "Rex is not a dog."

"If only he were." Nick thought he might keep up with him better. "He's kind of depressed. And you know, if you and Grady could cheer him up. Maybe-" Nick knew Rex had taken a liking to Grady.

"Whats got him so depressed?" Jack leaned on the library counter. It was quiet. No one needed to check out.

"Girl troubles." Nick shrugged. "Well, I guess she's a woman now. Since she is gonna have his kid."

"Huh? Really?" Jack winced.

"She's not making it easy." Nick nodded as if he was sure he didn't really need to talk about this at work with Jack, or anywhere.

"Yeah, that stuff is never easy." He kind of frowned. Jack backed away from the counter. "Well, better get something to eat. Gotta get back. I bet Rex is gonna be just fine. You two have a good trip." He nodded. "If it'll make you feel any better I'll stop by to make sure Doc got fed."

Nick knew that was an excuse. He just bet Jack wanted to see Rex. Nick kind of smiled. Maybe Jack could be Rex's new best friend.

let the storm come

2010-08-19T02:00:00.077-05:00

Jack came home with a bad headache. At least he'd managed to make the move to the new place. Perhaps he'd done too much or just wasn't used to the great outdoors. Maybe it was the heat. The humidity or just allergies. But the truth was he felt like shit. And there Kelsey and Grady were waiting for him.

"Are you sure you're up to this. You know, taking care of Grady?" There was the daycare that Jack's dad had set up. She didn't have too, but she'd insisted. Grady had slept late that morning.

"It was great. Really." She smiled.

"No it wasn't." Jack squinted hard.

Grady could get pushy when he wanted to. He had a temper. He knew how he used Kim. He could be a monster when he wanted to be.

"He's a lot like you, actually." Kelsey teased.

"Huh." How was that possible? He just yawned and went off to the bathroom to shower. Thats what he needed. Something to wake him up. A shower. Instead, the beads of warmth made him want to slumber. He took a few Tylenol. Jack had to admit now, he might be coming down with something. Maybe it was a good thing Kelsey was here. He would go to bed. He actually had his own room now. Imagine that. How long had he been sleeping on Grady's couch?

He came back in his sweats and fit tank. There was hamburger steak waiting for him. It was just weird to see food on the table that he hadn't cooked. He hadn't expected it.

"Am I missing something?" He winced.

"No, I've been hungry for it. My grandmother used to make it. Steak and mashed potatoes." Kelsey told him it was good comfort food to come home too.

Jack looked around. Hard to believe this was home. They were plugged into central heating and air. Thanks to his Dad. And to think he'd wanted to run from him, all this time. He guessed. It was no time to ponder. He dug in and it was satisfying. Brown gravy all over everything. Even made the green beans worth eating.

"That was really good." Jack nodded wishing he could say thank you, but it was just so hard for him to say. "You're a good cook."

"You must really be a bad one, if you're saying that about my food." She took his plate then to get it rinsed and in the dishwasher. Really, the kitchen was so neat. Nothing out of place.

"Yeah, I'm a really bad cook." He confessed, but it still felt as if metal was lodged behind his eyeballs and he was still wanting sleep. "Look, I don't mean to be mean. And, and if you don't mind, I need to turn in. I might be coming down with something. You gonna be all right with him?" They did have dish network to keep them company. "I promise I'll make it up to you. Somehow." Hopefully, by then she'd want to go home. He guessed. "I have this killer headache." Just the same Grady had to get up in his lap and wallow a few kisses on him. He hugged him tight, and Jack was overwhelmed with tears. How could someone that young want him so much? Of course, Grady stomped on his crouch then as if to give him a kick of reality. Either Grady thought he was the best or was doing his damnedest to kill him slowly.

Jack didn't say anymore, but went off to be alone, thinking this could all end quickly if family services wanted to move Grady somewhere else. It didn't seem to be a sure thing. And maybe if it did happen... Well, he sank into his pillow and tried not to care. Only he did. He really did. Naturally, his sinuses stuffed up and he bet he didn't get any sleep at all.

Jack woke up to pitch black. Almost. He thought he felt something sticking in his back. A watermelon was the first thing that came to mind. A cool hard watermelon. Then shades of blue and green flickered in his face on the room. He turned to see Kelsey was sleeping next to him.

Jack bit his bottom lip. He got up to check on Grady. At least the headache was gone. What was he supposed to do? He must have been in a deep sleep. Because he didn't know when she came in.

He wanted to tell her how he didn't like sleeping.... with anyone. No one. But he was too tired to wake her up. Thankfully, the storm hadn't woke Grady, who was laying on his back as if he were still nursing a bottle even if he hadn't had one in a very long time. At least Kim had weaned him before she left. Jack watched him, wondering if Grady dreamed of her. Jack shivered then. He felt so cold. He got back in bed. Pulled most of the covers that Kelsey had taken from him. He needed to be all by him self. He'd talk to her about that tomorrow.

going their way

2010-08-16T01:52:00.002-05:00

"You know this is like the last time we can do lunch together, for awhile." Heath reminded Nick once they were in the middle of eating burgers and home-fries.

"Damn, I was really wanting us to get to Denver before school started. You know, take the train." Nick smiled.

"I remembered." Heath grinned then, slapping the tickets down on the table.

Nick nodded, trying to keep a smile in.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Nick finally shrugged. "I just got off the phone with Ellie. She seems to think Kelsey has took off with someone she met on the internet."

"How middle school is that?" Heath gave him a dead stare.

"Come on." Nick winced.

"She's a liar." Heath told him. "I'm sorry. But she knows what she's doing. She's not that careless. She wants everyone to feel sorry for her. Please, please, tell me, you are going to stop worrying about her."

"I have to worry a little." Nick frowned.

"Come on, we are going to Denver. And we are going to love it." Heath didn't want to be the bad guy in this, but didn't they deserve a little happiness this summer?

still a mystery

2010-08-13T01:43:00.003-05:00

"What?" It was lunchtime before Nick heard from Ellie who was calling about Kelsey. "You heard from her?"

"Yeah, sounds like she met someone online." Ellie told him about the phone call from her.

"Are you kidding me?" He was on his way to the diner close to the library for the lunch special. He ate there about once a week. If he did so everyday, he knew he'd be overweight. But the burgers were char-broiled and the home fries spectacular. He was meeting Heath there for lunch.

"No, she wanted me to lie to her Mom."

"Did you?" Nick tensed.

"I never heard from her Mom. Do you think I should call her Mom and tell her whats going on?" Ellie wondered.

"I dunno what she's up too." Kelsey was being a big mystery, lately. He hoped she wasn't trying to sell the baby. "I know she's mad at me because she thinks I'm taking Rex's side."

"Are you?"

"I don't want too. I wish it was all planned, you know. We could have the baby. Only, I dunno if I could do it. Now. I mean, if it were just me, Heath and the baby it would be fine. I just couldn't deal with Rex and Kelsey. Too much drama, you know." Nick hoped he didn't sound selfish, but he had Heath to think about. He knew now Heath had to come first. And really this was not the time to start a family.

honest mistakes

2010-08-09T02:55:00.000-05:00

Jack wasn't completely honest when his Dad brought Grady home. But he thought it best to just give Kelsey some time. No way did she look like the type who would live in a trailer park. He told his Dad he'd move them in to the new place for good tomorrow.

"After I get off work. Promise."

Naturally, Grady was glad to see him. Jack couldn't help but smile, but the way Grady hugged him, he knew he couldn't leave him for very long.

Shortly, after his Dad left, Kelsey came out of the bedroom in what he'd found for her.

"I thought I heard voices." She hugged herself.

"I thought I told you the place was haunted." He set down a grilled cheese sandwich for her. "Just kidding." He smiled. Grady was kicking in his high chair. "It was just my Dad. He brought Grady home." Of course, Grady was making a mess with his sandwich. "Did you call home?" He sat down with a sandwich too.

She only nodded. He hoped she did.

"I wouldn't want anyone thinking I kidnapped you. Surprised they didn't bring in the police when you were at the emergency room." He told her.

He thought she might choke on the sandwich then. He got her more apple juice to drink then, wondering how honest she was with him. Perhaps she wasn't even honest with herself.

a phone call might help

2010-08-06T02:18:00.001-05:00

Kelsey didn't want to be left alone. She was still trying to figure out who Grady exactly was. She hated to ask Jack if Grady was his kid. She guessed Jack was trying to get his life back after a divorce or something. She had ridden with him to Grady's home. She would have stayed at the new place out in the country, but he still thought it needed to air out.

So they were at the old place. He'd put clean sheets on the bed since he had no idea the last time they were washed.

"But I could sleep on the couch." She told him.

"Na, that's where I sleep." He told her. "You can take Kim's bed."

"Who's Kim?" She winced wondering if this person would show up when she was fast asleep.

"Grady's Mom. She's in Vegas. I don't think she's coming home, anytime soon, so don't worry." He told her as he was getting the sheets on the queen sized bed. She looked around the bedroom as she helped him. It was better than she expected. Hardly anything was in it. Even the compact closet was practically empty. But he found her some clean clothes. He kept digging until he found some maternity clothes. She just gave them a disgusting look.

"Maybe if you wash up. You'll feel better and then you'll call someone. At least let them know where you are." He left her alone then to go make some supper.

She guessed he was right. Her mom might call out the Calvary, if she didn't.

"Mom." She just said as if she couldn't think anything else to say. She didn't want to argue because that's all they were doing these days. Her Mom still made her feel that she was going to leave the baby for her to take care of which was the main reason she didn't want to go home.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HOME?" Her mother yelled.

"I-I met this friend of mine, and well, you know, we got to talking. Uh, she said I could spend the night, you know, its been so long since we've talked." Kelsey said the first thing that popped into her mind.

"Did you go to Ellie's?" Her mother asked.

"Yeah." Kelsey smiled. She loved it when her Mom filled in the blanks. "I'll be home soon. Promise." Her heartbeat started to thump in her ears with excitement. Soon enough she direct dialed Ellie.

"Hi." Kelsey wasn't sure how to explain this.

"How are you?" Ellie wanted to know.

"Good." Kelsey hoped she sound cheerful enough. "Listen, uh, if my Mom should call, could-could you tell her I'm at your place." Kelsey squinted hard.

"Why?" Ellie wanted to know.

"Why? Oh, well, um, I've met someone. I met him online." She shook her head as if that was a horrible answer now.

"WHERE ARE YOU!"

"I'm fine. I'm in Sioux City." Another lie.

"What are you doing?" Ellie was worse than her mother.

"Nothing." Kelsey winced again. "Its nothing like you think, OK. I just had to get away. All right."

"OK." Ellie didn't sound too alarmed now.

"Just tell her, if she calls, that I'm staying with you." Kelsey sighed. "Can you do that for me?"

"I guess so." Ellie then said. "But-"

"Look, I'll call you tomorrow. I will." Kelsey promised.

"All right."

"Thanks." Kelsey hung up then. She hoped she'd covered all the basis now. She so needed to get away from everything and just think what to do next.

in a nutshell

2010-08-04T02:06:00.023-05:00

Rex thought he might be sick when heard the news that Kelsey hadn't made it home.

"God, I hope she's all right." He fretted then. All sorts of horrible scenarios came to mind. Her in a car wreck. Someone kidnapping her. What if somebody snatched the baby. It was a horrifying thought. What if she were dead somewhere and he might never see his son. Ever.

"Well, we have to call the authorities." Rex told Nick.

"Her mother already has. But there's nothing suspicious yet. Maybe she just needed some time by herself." Nick remained calm. He wasn't thinking the worst.

Rex began to pace, wondering what she was thinking. Was she doing this just because of him? Did she just want to torment him? Maybe it was some sort of test. She was trying to see if he had any real feelings for her. That was probably it. She was probably just fine.

But then the other part of him was so worried. Worried she was hurt or being tortured.

Nick went start dinner. Heath arrived with a big notebook of lesson plans to look through.

"What's wrong with you?" Heath squinted putting down his notebook on the livingroom table. He sat down to relax and loosened his tie which he took off as well as his shirt. He was in white tank.

"Its Kelsey. She-she had to have one of her fits here, and now she's missing." Rex gave him a dead stare.

"Glad I missed that. I bet she didn't go far. She just needed to cool off. Believe me, today I would be in the swimming pool if I weren't so pale."

Rex definitely couldn't imagine Kelsey in a pool anywhere. As it was, she still wanted to dress as if she weren't pregnant at all. She certainly wouldn't be caught in a swim suit.

on the outs

2010-08-01T01:57:00.018-05:00

"I'm thinking the less you are around her, the better." Nick said to Rex. Of course, neither had heard a word from Kelsey.

"What am I suppose to do?" Rex looked as if he was going to be sick as if he were ready to runaway too. "Everything I do is wrong, I guess."

"She's not ready to have a baby." Nick knew this much.

"Well, who said I was?" Rex looked at him baffled. Nick just rolled his eyes. He had Young Adult reading programs to worry about, not the drama between Kelsey and Rex. "Look, I gave her a few hours like you said. I didn't want to call her while she was on the road, but she won't pick up, Nick. Maybe you should call."

Nick just sighed. He was glad Heath was off looking at a new classroom and talking to teachers where he got a teaching position. He was sure Heath wouldn't have been happy to be around Kelsey's outburst. There was only so much they could do. He could see how everyone in the family hoped they worked it out, but it was highly unlikely at this point. He was sure Kelsey didn't even want to speak to him, either. He would probably only get her voice to leave a message. Then his phone buzzed. Nick was hopingit was her. It was Kelsey's mother. She wondered if they'd heard from Kelsey.

a matter of time

2010-07-28T02:59:00.040-05:00

"How long do you think it'll be?" Jack's Dad said over the phone.

It wasn't like Kelsey remembered any emergency numbers. Jack had to wonder if she were doing it on purpose. He felt a bit foolish being here, but suddenly it seemed to be she was only counting on him.

"I dunno." They'd rushed in so much to monitor. He didn't know why he hadn't noticed sooner that she was pregnant. "Look, I had nothing to do with this. I just saw this car fly by the place and well, it stopped not a hundred yards or so. I had to see what was going on."

"Its a good thing you did." His dad then said. Jack just nodded. At least his Dad wasn't mad. They talked a bit more about the house and how Jack planned to load up Grady's things as soon as he could. Finally Jack put his cell away. The nurse said she'd been asking for him.

Of course, he saw that fear in her big dark eyes that she was troubled.

"Everything turned out all right, didn't it?" He smiled as if she needed one more than he did. She had big bandage on her forehead now. She looked tired and didn't say anything. "Is there anyone I can call? Anyone." She shook her head, no. "What are you gonna do, just drive out of here, then?"

She started to cry . He came over and sat there looking at her.

"So you got like two months to go, don't you?" He winced then.

"What?" She winced.

"So that's your secret?" He smiled. "I hardly noticed, you know." He looked at her stomach.. Then at her. He knew she wasn't too pleased that he'd brought that up. "So I guess, you don't have a place or anything?" He shrugged. He had a feeling she'd never really know what a close call that was on her little roadtrip.

She shook her head, no.

Jack hoped he didn't regret this.

in the dust

2010-07-25T03:50:00.034-05:00

Kelsey had no idea where she was going. Just down a country road. Flying fast as she could in her mother's old car, that she supposed was her car now. Not that she was thinking about that. She was just angry. At everyone. Even Heath's sister was sending her post cards from time to time to let her know she was thinking about her. She didn't believe that, either. No one cared about her. Really. She was certain of it.

She wasn't even going to have a baby girl. And that changed everything. She didn't want a boy. Exactly. Nothing was working out for her. Nothing. So she kept pushing her foot down on the petal. Just to see how fast this thing could go.

The doors rattled. The car shook. She kept going. It was exhilarating. Why was being out of control so intoxicating? She was smiling now as if she felt good about this. It was OK if something happened. She wouldn't feel a thing, would she? Would she?

But then a stray bird flew out in front the car. She couldn't quite handle the wheel. And with a jolt, a rush and finally an end..the car dove off into the deep bar ditch.

It didn't really hurt when her head hit the dashboard. But when she blinked she noticed something dripping down her forehead. She took a deep breath. How was she going to walk away from this? The door wouldn't budge. She closed her eyes then to rest.

"HEY! Hey!" She heard a voice. Then felt a shake. She looked up to see someone with the most amazing eyes. "Are you OK?"

"Huh?" It was so hot. Dusty. Muggy. How long had she been out?

"Can you move over?" He asked. "I just want to see if I can get your car out of the ditch."

She nodded as she unbuckled the sea belt and rolled over to the passenger seat. There were no air bags in this car.

He slipped in through the window and started up the car. Surprisingly, it still had life. He didn't try to back it out, but turned the wheels so and got it back on the road by floorboarding it.

"There." He sighed with a smile. "You don't look so good." He then said. "You should go to the hospital."

She shook her head, no.

He put the car in drive and chugged on down the road. For a second, she thought he might have something strange in mind, but they hit the pavement soon enough. He was going into town.

"I'm Jack." He looked at her then once they got to the stop light.

Kelsey nodded. She couldn't think of a thing to say.

"Its gonna be OK." He smiled. It was a bit impish, but she believed him. She truly did. "Probably just a couple stitches will be all you'll need."

She wished thats all it would be, but she doubted it.

"Thanks." She wanted to tell him not to leave her. She needed him. She honestly did.

airing it out

2010-07-23T03:51:00.027-05:00

Jack knew his Dad hated where Grady lived. But he wanted to keep things as normal as possible for him. Yet, he felt compromise was the only way he could see this through.

Yeah, he had the job now. His dad had property over in Iowa. And his Dad had furnished him a brand new trailer to live in. Of course, it was on the backroads. Not that far from where Heath and Nick lived. But they weren't neighbors, either.

Actually, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been out this way. But his Dad had kept Grady to let him have a good look at the new place. Eventually, his father wanted Jack to build his own house. As if it could possibly be an old homestead some day, out in the sticks. He wasn't sure he could dream a little dream because usually, he'd make his Dad mad, somewhere down the line, and he'd be to his own devices once again.

But here it was. A home bigger than where Grady lived. It was so handy and a sweet kitchen with so many cool things. A dishwasher. A stacked washer and dryer. Swell things of home, and it was theirs. Yeah, it gave him something to smile about. He was in the country now. All by his lonesome.

He walked around the house that still needed to breathe. No way could he bring a toddler out here, yet. Even then, he had a slight worry of wondering what Grady would think. Would he be scared? Would he try to get away from him? He opened the windows and let the air in. He tried not to think of anything bad, but instead how his Dad had put his touch on everything.

Jack almost laughed. If there was anything gay about anyone, it would have to be his Dad. Yet, he wasn't. He really wasn't, for real. Just in decorating, and enjoying the theater. He was always in the local musicals. A big romantic with his Mom. Always taking her on a cruise when he had a chance. Yes, he was a lover of sorts and when she left, well, he just didn't know why. Jack had stopped thinking about that too. He hadn't really thought of her until now. Wondering how she was doing with her art in New Mexico. Not that he would call her. He was still mad at her. There was no choice but to give her the silent treatment.

Still he felt so alone. Kind of sad. But thats just the way it was. Wasn't he used to this yet?

He got out of the trailer soon enough. He would just have to let it air out. He had to enjoy this bit of freedom while he could because chances were he was all Grady had and well, he needed to think on this a little longer. It was like trying on a new pair of shoes. He had to get used to this father thing. Grady depended on him now. He needed to get Grady's room ready.

undecided

2010-07-19T02:40:00.018-05:00

Kelsey got the impression that Nick had forgot everything he said about the baby. She hadn't heard from him in ages. It seemed everyone was getting on with their life, but her. Hers was on hold because of this pregnancy. Or maybe she was just moody.

Of course, Rex called. All the time. He just wouldn't let up. Couldn't he see that she'd decided? She wanted to have nothing to do with him. Nothing.

Instead, she wanted Nick and Heath to embrace this situation of hers. Find the joy in it. So she guessed she'd have to make a trip to this little place they called home. And it would have been endearing, if someone wasn't already there. Rex.

"How could you!" She actually, gave Nick a shove in the chest. "Why is Rex here!" She wanted that guestroom of theirs. She so deserved it more than Rex.

"You have your parents." Nick said so matter of fact.

Kelsey didn't know how to react to that. So. So it was not right. Nothing was right at the moment to her. As if all she needed was another tizzy.

"I suppose Heath put you up to this." She kept hugging herself there in Nick's country bumpkin place. It was so homey. The light shown through that this was disgustingly quaint. She so wanted to hate it here.

"Heath?" Nick just smiled. "Are you kidding me?"

Well, she didn't know what to do. She just didn't. She was on her own now evidently and very undecided so she fled to her car and took off in a trail of dust.

a possibility

2010-07-16T01:58:00.032-05:00

"You're gonna do it?" Nick looked at Jack as if he were out of his element. Jack came into the library with Grady. Nick wasn't sure why they were there.

"I don't want to, but I hate to see him go into Foster Care, you know." Jack looked a little sad while Grady hung on to his leg.

"He's not going into Foster Care." Jack's Dad came around the counter and gave Grady a sucker.

"Dad! Don't!" Jack told him.

"What? A little candy never hurt anyone." He told him.

"What about my dental bill?" Jack faked a smile. "Now I know why. You and that candy jar of yours." He shook his head. "See why I can't live with him?" He told Nick then.

"What are you going to do?" Nick looked at Jack.

"Stay at Kim's til she comes home. I guess?" Jack shrugged.

"No, I don't think so." Jack's dad shook his head. "Its the worst trailer court, period. And Grady deserves better."

"Dad. Its just temporary." Jack looked at him.

"But you still need a job." His Dad told him. "There's an opening at City."

"Oh really? What? Like the mayor?" Jack gave him a glare.

"No, parks and recreation. You'd be on the river, a lot." His dad talked about the job for a bit. How he'd be more or less over seeing the park. He'd get his own golf cart.

Jack just shook his head in disbelief. Nick gave him a pat on the back. Looked like things were changing.

told you so

2010-07-12T01:39:00.048-05:00

Jack sort of expected it. He didn't want to. But somehow when someone doesn't show up by the second day they are gone, well, he began to worry. Of course, he was at Grady's home. Hadn't exactly anywhere else to go since he didn't have a job. True, he'd slept on this couch plenty, when he didn't want to go home. Perhaps looks were deceiving, or he was presenting a double life. But still Kim was gone.

He'd left her messages on her cell. Still. Nothing. Time was ticking. He was ready to call the cops. Finally, when Grady was wanting lunch, which amounted to microwaved chicken nuggets and apple sauce, Jack's cell buzzed.

"Finally." He sighed. "Where are you?" He held in a breath then as he fumed.

"Vegas," Kim said.

"What!" Jack's eyes lit. He bit his bottom lip to keep from saying something vile. "Why! Why are you in Vegas?"

"Because." She didn't say anything for the longest time.

Jack looked at Grady who was dipping a chicken nugget in the apple sauce.

"Are you going to tell me or not? Look, I should call the cops." Jack told her. "I should have already."

"I did something stupid." She finally said.

"Like what?" He gritted.

"I-I sort of got in to trouble, and, and I'm in jail now." She said very quietly.

"What? Should a call a lawyer? What's going on?" Jack winced.

"I kind of stole some money." She finally said.

"God. Are you serious!" Jack began to pace. First of all, how could she kind of do it? He shook his head, gritting a hard squint as he walked around the kitchen.

"But its all right, you can take care Grady." She sounded like it might be a commercial for a vacation.

"You, you've lost it this time. You seriously have!" Jack told her.

"Look, I have to go. I've got the paper work all there. Ready for you. You're going to be Grady's guardian. You'll do great. I know you will." She told him.

"Kim! Kim! Listen to me!" He started, but she hung up on him.

after-party

2010-07-08T01:58:00.038-05:00

Heath was a wreck. He almost had it out with his Dad over his sister. Of course, he was worried about Amber, but his father wasn't. He knew his mother was sick with worry. Naturally, he was sure Amber was with Kyle. She just wouldn't go off, anywhere.

But he could see that she stood up to him. Amber was going to do things her way or else. She was deciding her own life. Their Dad wasn't going to tell her what she could and could not do. She wanted to have birth control pills, and you would have thought she had commited the biggest sin.

It wasn't until later that he found out from Kyle that Amber was with him. Heath knew it would turn out that way. At least his mother could rest easy. He knew she'd had had a lot of sleepless nights. Heath had to wonder if his Dad had any idea how he effected any of them, or if he even cared. Still, it was like walking on egg shells around him. No one would ever know what would exactly set him off. Now he was giving them all the silent treatment.

Heath went home to find Nick with Rex and Jack. They had set off a few fireworks down the street at the park. They could see the fireworks from the river. It was a rather warm evening, but at least Heath had made it in time to be there for the fireworks at dark.

"I feel like my head is going to bust." He told Nick, but he saw that Jack had his hands full. Somebody was going to sleep in his lap. Heath looked at the boy, a bit puzzled.

"Who was that?" Heath wanted to know once they got back to the house for a little wine before bed. Jack had gone home then.

"I forgot to mention him. That's Grady." Nick shrugged. They were alone now. Rex was off making a phone call to someone on his cell.

"Grady? Jack never mentioned he had a kid." Heath winced as he drank the cold white wine. It was refreshing, but not really doing much for his headache.

"Its not his kid. Some friend of his went out of town." Nick sipped his white wine.

"Somebody actually trusts him with their kid?" Heath thought that was kind of funny.

"He's pretty serious about Grady. You know, he's kind of...nice. Yeah, that's what he is. He grilled steak today." Nick told him.

"I don't know what's happened to him." Heath's bit his bottom lip. "I'm getting where I kind of like the guy and I don't know why I should."

Nick just smiled and took another sip of his wine.

one of those kind of days

2010-07-05T02:10:00.022-05:00

Nick felt a bit stranded. There had been a fallen-out with Heath's sister and their Dad. Heath had gone to see if he could patch things up, or perhaps to find Amber.

Nick had wanted to go, but Heath said it might be better if he went to talk to his Dad, alone. As it was it was just he and Rex, who had made several attempts to do something with Kelsey, but that hadn't quite happened, either. So it was pretty nice when Jack showed up with Grady.

"What have you guys been doing?" Nick was trying his best to find something kid friendly for Grady, but he didn't have anything for him other than some apple juice.

"Trying to have a good day." Jack sounded like someone had ripped whatever heart he had and left him in a very sad way.

"What's wrong?" Nick asked.

Jack just looked at him. "We went to the dog parade, you should have brought Doc. It would have been fun."

Naturally, Grady gave Doc a tight hug which gave the dog a yelp, but he licked the boy all over his face, and Grady laughed.

"See, they've both been wanting to do that all day." Jack shrugged and wanted to know what was up with Heath and his parents. Nick went ahead and told him that Amber took off in her car.

"Well, hope she wasn't driving fast. Maybe she should have, because the cops would have caught her by now." He went out back to see the charcoals ready to grill. "You guys haven't even started up the fire." Jack shouted to Nick who was still in the kitchen watching Grady and the dog.

"What's the point." Nick didn't care if they grilled anything of not.

"Come on, daylights burning. Lets get this show on the road." Jack started up the fire then. "You got any steaks? Ribs would take forever, but a good steak. Now we're talking."

Nick got out what he had from the fridge. There were four.

Jack opened a beer then. Nick looked at him. Was that why he came? So he could drink while Nick watched the kid.

Jack poured the beer on the steak.

Nick just smiled. Really, Jack surprised him, a lot.

say it ain't so

2010-07-04T02:39:00.058-05:00

In the beginning, Jack was sure Kim was trying to domesticate him. Possibly, it had to do with the fact that Marshall had already left her, and she didn't have a chance with him.

"I dunno. Its the 4th." Jack squinted hard. He hated to tell her it was his favorite day to get shitfaced and blow things up. Babies were not part of the package.

She already had the diaper bag ready for emergencies even if she said Grady was potty trained. It wasn't like they gave out certificates for that sort of thing.

"I can't do it." He shook his head.

"I want him with you. I just do." She was specific.

"Why is that? Really? Can't you think of somebody else?" He gave her a glare then as he stood there in her trailer house on the edge of town, not so far from where the meth lab blew up. She didn't really look like she belonged here with her long legs and her year around tan, but she dressed pretty much like a whore lately, so maybe she did. She'd been in a slump ever since Marshall left because he had decided Grady wasn't his.

"No, I don't trust anyone else." She had her hair up, like she was going somewhere.

"Well, you should not trust me. You really should because I'm not to be trusted." He was faking nice now. Just what had gotten into Kim?

They had met down at the local bar a couple of years ago, and she'd been seeing a friend of his from high school. But Taylor went off in the Marines and was killed, three days after he got to Afghanistan. She wasn't even from around here. She was from Texas or maybe Vegas. He'd heard a lot of her stories, and they kept changing, so really he didn't know her, exactly. And then she thought it might work out with him, but it didn't. He always claimed he knew she would run away with the truck driver, Marshall. And she did. They got married. Then came Grady and well, Marshall left. Said he wouldn't have anymore to do with her or the baby.

"I think it would be a really good idea if you stayed home." He told her. "Have a nice quiet time. There's the dog parade and the veterans reunion on the square. Just have a good time with Grady. All right?"

She shook her head, no. He saw a frown. "I really got go, Jack. I just do."

Jack looked at Grady, but she wouldn't. She was a little misty eyed, but she was too hard around the edges to cry.

"It'll be all right." He found himself holding her shoulders as if he meant to hold her back.

"No, you stay with Grady." She shook her head as if she had something on her mind for a long time to do.

"All right." Jack stepped back, got Grady things. "Well, come on." He motioned to the boy who just looked up at him with a grin. Jack wasn't going to carry him.

Kim gave Grady one last hug.

Jack just gritted. He hoped what the thought...wasn't true. He didn't like it when he felt things like this. He took Grady's hand. This might be the worst 4th ever.

just part of the job

2010-07-01T02:43:00.021-05:00

"I wish you'd stop worrying about him." Heath was busy washing the dishes. Nick had made a point of saving a plate of the chicken casserole for Rex. "He's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"He took off on foot. I can't say anything to him without him taking it the wrong way. I just asked what he was doing. Like he needs to be playing poker, right now." Nick was looking out the front door. The fireflies were out, lighting up the yard.

"He'll be all right." Heath could only hope he met someone and ran away with them. Honestly, it was hard to keep himself from going spastic with Rex around. Heath just wanted some down time with someone. He dried the last dish and went to get Nick.

"You can't just waste away worrying over him and the baby. You have to let him make some decisions. You can't make them for him." Heath sighed.

"I never have before, now have I?" Nick looked back at him.

Heath put his arms around him.

"You have enough on your plate, right now. OK." He took his hand then. They went out on the back deck. They'd found a wicker sofa that Heath wasn't afraid to sit in with Nick, thinking it might fall, apart. "Now come on, let watch the fireflies put on a show." It was good to be close to Nick. And if Rex found them being all cuddly, it wasn't going to get to Heath. Nick leaned in. They kissed. He really hoped they made Rex sick to his stomach.

getting your game on

2010-06-29T02:25:00.043-05:00

"OH, MY GOD." The words seemed to stand on their own. Rex was losing his patience. Honestly, why couldn't he have gotten the Zoloft refill when he wanted? He guessed that's what happened when the insurance ran out.

Yeah, he was about to lose control. Now, his brother thought he was gambling online. He wanted to cuss like a sailor and tell Nick he was a lame excuse for a brother. Before he knew it, he'd fling the front screen shut and was on his way, somewhere. He didn't know where but it wouldn't be here. He walked up the street almost in a race. It took him downtown which felt like uptown to him. Rows of red brick and old buildings that smelled of a remnants past. This was not a town with much life, but just a few blocks away was the billiard place. He went in to get a beer. He heard the pool balls click. It was then he noticed that guy Nick had introduced him to, but that was over in Nebraska where Nick worked. What was he doing in Iowa?

Jack was playing pool and winning. Jack was taking some old timers to the cleaners from what Rex could tell. He sat back on the bar stool and watched. This guy was one cool operator, yet friendly. Like he might be given someone a lesson instead, but in the end, he took the money. He gave back a twenty. "You guys have a drink on me."

Finally, after the game, Rex went over with his bottle of beer. "So is this what you do for a living?" Rex asked.

"Yeah, its a real career." Jack just sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"I just live down the street, you know, what are you doing here?" Rex wanted to know.

"So are you are living with your brother?" Jack simply changed the subject.

"Temporarily." Rex nodded.

"So you got plans, huh?" Jack went to put the balls in the rack ready to play.

"Not exactly." Rex sipped his beer.

"Hope you don't wear out your welcome." Jack gave him a sly look.

"Well, that's already happened." Rex told him.

"So soon?" Jack let Rex go first. He didn't even have a pool stick. Jack got him one.

"Well, Nick's so called wife, hates me." Rex informed him.

Jack just laughed. "How do you know he's the wife?"

"I just do." Rex didn't want to dwell on that as he made a shot. It was a relief he could finally do something right. Make the balls go where he wanted them to go.

totally in a fix

2010-06-25T02:17:00.011-05:00

Nick felt bad trying to put Rex off on Jack.

Rex was bored as it was, and he knew Heath was not going to let up on Rex being there, but he had his actors workshop to keep him busy, and it was good to see him happy about that. He knew Heath missed the drama. Real drama. Not the family drama going on with Rex.

It seemed Rex had made things a tad worst when he told her he was there at Nick and Heath's since she'd wanted to take refuge there. Nick felt as if he were caught in the middle. He just didn't know what to do or say.

"You guys really have to work this out." Nick sounded like a recording now because he knew Kelsey was making this hard on Rex, but then it was Rex who had been so negative early on with her so why was he expecting her forgiveness now. "It might not ever be a real family, but you two could at least be civil. You have to. Especially, once that baby is born."

Still, Rex was being awful quiet. He'd never seen Rex quiet like that. He always had a comeback before, but now, he'd go to that guestroom of theirs and not come out what seemed for days. Nick had to wonder if he were really trying to look for a job. Or was he just playing internet poker.

not exactly a playdate

2010-06-21T01:58:00.029-05:00

He had to be the last babysitter she could find. Yeap, Jack knew it when Grady went for cereal display and knocked a few boxes down. Whatever was he thinking, bringing a three year old to the grocery store. Well, Jack's dad had given him a list, and he had no choice in the matter.

He grabbed Grady and picked him up. Thankfully, he didn't make one of his hateful scenes that he'd seen him pull on his mother, Kim. He straightened up right away. It baffled Jack even more. He turned then to see Nick standing there with someone. They both seemed to be amused at the state he was in with a toddler who thought he was going on a teenager.

"Hey, where's Heath?" Jack hoped nothing was wrong. It just seemed weird seeing Nick with someone who wasn't Heath.

"This is my brother, Rex." Nick told him.

Jack just nodded and shook his hand.

"You never said anything about having kids, Jack?" Nick grinned.

"Oh, no...no, he's someone I know, who couldn't find a babysitter, the last minute." Naturally, Grady wanted down then. Next he knew the redhead was climbing up his legs to try to turn a flip.

"We just went to Amber's graduation." Nick shrugged.

"Yeah, I totally forget when those are anymore." Jack's smile faded a little. This was what it had came to over the years. Getting to baby-sit someone's brat while they went to graduation parties. But he looked at Grady, they were going to have a fine old time. "Well, I got some Thomas the Train DVDs to take home from the library. So all will be well, shortly." Jack sighed at that. Now if he could only get to the list. If he could bring half the stuff home his Dad wanted, he'd be doing good.

"Well, uh, I guess you wouldn't know anything going on around here that uh..well, maybe you could show Rex around, sometime, you know." Nick suggested.

Jack's lips curved up. What the hell was Nick getting at? Him showing Rex around. What was he? A real professional babysitter?

borrowing time

2010-06-17T01:04:00.014-05:00

Well, Doc must have known something was up. He wet on the livingroom floor when Rex showed up.

"NO. Oh, no!" Heath was wanting to pick a few foul words, but he just looked at Rex wondering what in the hell he was doing here.

"I can't stay with Mom and Dad." Rex. explained.

"What?" Heath didn't understand. "What do you mean?" Didn't he know none of this Kelsey drama of her having his baby... he'd gotten into, wouldn't be easy? Heath went to clean up the puppy's mess. He had a feeling Doc didn't like Rex anymore than he did. "You know, Nick isn't here." Heath put the mess in the trash, and washed his hands.

"Yeah, well, I just took a drive, and-and..you guys really have a nice place." Rex looked around.

Heath nodded, but didn't want to share this place with anyone but Nick. They hadn't even had a dinner party yet. Could they at least do that, without him?

"Look, if I could just, you know, have a vacation from Mom and Dad. That's all I need. Honestly." Rex begged.

"Christ! How long?" Heath scowled. They did have a life. They'd planned on going to an outdoor concert in Council Bluff. He still had to get his actor's work shop together for his library gig.

"I dunno. Until I can get this situated about everything. I need a job." Rex told him.

"Like, you could find one here." Heath rolled his eyes. "You can't stay here forever."

He hoped Nick wouldn't mind that he told Rex this. Honestly, his home was his castle. Why did he have to live with people he couldn't stand?

summer lov'n

2010-06-13T01:52:00.021-05:00

The puppy was cute enough. Nick was falling in love with him. Of course, he was put off having to deal with his brother. As it was, they had found loads for the house. His Mom and Dad had helped too. Heath and Nick had gone to the five mile garage sale in a little town not far from where they lived. They'd found all sorts of goodies. Art. Linens. Curtains. A chair that Heath just had to have.

"See." Nick was all grins. "Its just us. OK. And we're good." It felt that way to him. It was like a long awaited honeymoon, the last few weeks. And there was Doc who was sort of understanding the word NO. The potty training wasn't too bad. At least there were no rugs to worry about. And usually, they'd catch him in time to get him out in the back yard. They both took him for walks. It was great to walk around town and find the local diner. It was a bit posh for their taste, but they catered to those who came to the quaint little shops. They'd discovered an old bookstore and a craft store for those who sold their crafts. Which meant they bought local honey and jams and other farmer's market things in the back lot near the consignment shops.

"Yeah, I don't miss teaching at all." Heath looked relaxed. He didn't even look worried about the acting workshop he was putting together for the summer reading program.

Naturally, Heath couldn't be happier about the programs at the library. It was all so what Nick remembered from growing up. Kids were showing up. They'd gotten the local children's librarian from the school to help with the children's part. There was really a need for all of this. Maybe Jack's Dad didn't want to do it, but at least there were those who did want to see smiling faces and a crowd at the library. So what if it wasn't dead at the library anymore. There were mothers meeting for playdates. Teenagers chatting about graphic novels and perhaps a love connection here and there. Nick was so glad summer had arrived. It was just this thing with Rex had been long and drawn out.

First he wasn't going to talk to Heath about Kelsey. Next thing he knew Rex kept calling him for support. Nick didn't know what Rex really wanted from him, but he'd promised Heath that he'd stay out of it. This summer belonged to them.

its nothing

2010-06-09T04:34:00.035-05:00

What was Jack trying to do to him? Heath had to wonder. No apology. Nothing. Just a puppy. As if that would fix everything.

Well, it wasn't quite like he always imagined. Seeing him, now. Heath guessed Jack and Nick were friends. Maybe. At least there had been no name calling. No fighting. No ugliness. Perhaps Jack had grown up. Perhaps Jack didn't want forgiveness. Instead, he'd earn it.

Granted, Heath had never known anyone quite like Jack. It was as if he had two different personalities. There had been the guy who was crazy about him, and then the one who wouldn't look at him unless he saw his fist first. But that was then. This was now. And Jack had had a black lab called Doctor.

Heath set on the steps of the front porch and rubbed Doc's head. He hadn't a clue how to potty train a puppy. He guessed he was just going to have to go to the library. Then he wondered if they could even check books out from the library where Nick worked. It was across the state line.

He wondered where the library was around here. He wanted to think about anything about what was going on in Nick's head right now. He wanted to stay mad at him, but he couldn't. He knew Nick wanted to do the right thing. But honestly, Heath didn't feel it was his call to make. This was something Rex and Kelsey were going to have to decide on.

Just then Nick pulled into the driveway. Heath's sister, Amber was with him. Naturally, she was all lovey with the puppy.

"So he brought it to you, after all." Nick smiled.

"You knew?" Heath winced.

"Well, he talked about it." Nick shrugged. "I didn't know if he would."

"You talk to him? About me?" Heath didn't know he liked that. Exactly.

"It just came up, OK. I didn't really talk to him about you. All right." Nick sighed.

"I didn't know what to think when Jack showed up." Heath shook his head.

"Well, I think he's kind of woke up to the fact that he's really alone." Nick told him.

"What are we suppose to do about that?" Heath winced.

"Nothing. But, I guess, be his friend. Not like we have to be his best friend." Nick assured him. Heath knew he definitely wasn't up for that.

tell it like it is

2010-06-07T03:37:00.033-05:00

Nick didn't understand this. Amber was sold on the idea of them adopting Kelsey's baby. Why wasn't Heath?

Nick was alone with his Mom now at the hospital. She had tried to talk to Kelsey, but Kelsey wouldn't say much to her. His Mom was also worried about him and Heath as well.

"Really, you two have to talk about this more. There needs a lot of talking, in fact." Nick's Mom told him. She was talking about Rex. "He's a big part of this. And I have a feeling he'll want to keep the baby, one way or another."

"All right." Nick looked at her as if he'd already done his part. He was there for Kelsey.

"Will you talk to Rex?" She asked.

"Me?"

"Well, he might listen more to you than to me or even your father." She felt sure of it.

"Rex, doesn't listen to anybody." Nick winced. "Mom, you know I have like a hundred things going right now, as it is. I have to be ready when the library opens. And Heath and I don't have any furniture."

"You two go down to the furniture mart, pick you out a livingroom suit. It'll be our house warming present for you. And you can make do with the old table and chairs down in our basement. I'm sure you both could paint it black and it would be perfect." She informed him.

"I guess this means I still have to talk to Rex?"

"He might need to come and stay with you for a little while. It could take a bit, to work on him. He's not one to make up his mind very fast when he needs to and when he shouldn't, well, he's usually decided before it was ever suppose to happen." His mom sighed then.

Just one more thing he was sure Heath didn't want to hear about.

accepting the consequence

2010-06-05T03:14:00.055-05:00

Jack was a bit nervous. He didn't want to look Heath in the eye, and yet he did. He wanted to look at all of him. He wanted to just sit and stare, but he could hardly do that. This was uncomfortable because he knew he was making Heath uncomfortable, and Jack didn't want that. He hoped the puppy would help.

"So you have to name it." Jack told him while Heath went to get coffee. "You have to think of a really good name, you know."

The puppy was under Heath's feet in the kitchen but he managed to bring them both a cup of coffee.

"Well, I kind of hadn't expected to name it." Heath shrugged.

"I think he looks like a Doctor." Jack smiled.

"What?"

"Yeah, he can fix what ever might ail you with that wag of his." Jack stirred some sugar in his coffee.

"Doctor?" Heath sat down and let the pup crawl up in his lap.

"Yeah, Doc, for short." Jack nodded.

"Are you sure this isn't your dog?" Heath looked at Jack then.

"I swear. I have a hunting dog, already." Jack shrugged.

"A hunting dog?"

"A bird dog." He nodded. "Well, OK, I did have a dog named Doctor, years ago. And I could of, should have left him with these friends who had a little girl, who thought the world of him. But no, I had to take him on a javelina hunt with me down in Texas." Jack stirred his coffee once more and watched it swirl. He winced then, feeling a little teary, but he wouldn't dare let himself. "He was a black lab too. Smart. Everybody loved him." He felt a lump in his throat that would barely let him breathe. "Anyway, he was a really good dog until he got into it with a hog, well, he didn't make it. It was bad. I haven't gone on a hunt, like that sense."

"Well, you're the one who should take him." Heath told him.

"No, I have dog. I don't need a dog. You do." Jack told him.

"I don't think that's gonna be enough for Nick." Heath then said.

"What do you mean?" Jack finally took a sip of coffee.

"His brother is having a kid with someone, and I don't guess either one of them want it." Heath told him.

"Nick would do that? He really wants to be Dad, doesn't he?" Jack watched the dog in Heath's lap.

"Evidently." Heath nodded.

Jack got the distinct impression that Heath didn't want to start a family.

"Maybe Doctor will change your mind." Jack decided to leave it at that. No need to look at the past, and the future was just one step at a time. Nobody really knew just where it was going, anyway.

everyone needs one

2010-06-03T02:19:00.049-05:00

Heath decided to stay behind at the house. He'd really wanted a dog. A blonde lab. Actually. Her name was Scarlet and she wasn't a puppy, but rather seasoned and perhaps she would train Heath instead of the other way around.

But last minute, they didn't get her. Nick and Amber were off at the hospital with Kelsey about the baby. Again.

Heath didn't know what to think. He just wanted Nick to stop acting as if he could take care of the world when actually he couldn't. Heath didn't mean to be angry about it, but the more he thought about the situation, he was.

This was just too soon. He wanted to get to know his house before someone else did. Besides, it was kind of empty. Still cold ,even if it were all muggy about. All he could do was move in his boxes of stuff. If only he'd brought his desk and what he had from Alliance. It would have been something.

And now he was alone. Instanly sad. He wanted this to be the happiest time of his life. As it was, he hadn't spent as much time at home with his Mom and Dad. Besides, they were busy getting ready for Amber's graduation party. It seemed so much was happening so fast, and yet the place was so empty. He was lucky the power was on and so was the water.

He walked from one blank room to another. It was startling. This was suppose to be his and Nick's place and he wasn't here.

Just then he heard a cardoor slam shut. He hadn't thought anyone would be here just yet. It was quiet then. Perhaps someone across the way or down the street. Heath stood there in his kakis and barefooted. He hadn't even put a shirt on. As it was it was clouding up, but he hadn't turned on the radio. Could be bad weather, for all he knew.

A knock came to the door. Suddenly, Heath felt he wasn't on top of anything today. He reached for a shirt in the kitchen, but all it was was an old white undershirt tank. Still he felt a bit under-dressed, but he went to the door and behind the screen. ..there he was. Jack.

Heath choked on a breath almost as he stood there looking at him. Jack had something with him. A puppy. A black lab.

"I hear you've been looking for one of these." Jack grinned handing over the puppy to Heath.

"Well-" he didn't know how to break it to him that he wanted a dog already trained. Not something he was going to have to train. "Uh, where did you find him?"

"I got him for free. Some neighbor of my Dad's had a huge litter, and they were all blonde but this guy. She's charging a heafty sum for the blonde one, but this one, she said I could have him. Said he was a runt."

Heath just nodded as he held the puppy, all cuddly and enjoying being held.

"I see." Heath tried to smile. Jack was the last person he wanted to talk too. It had been ages, but he looked the same, yet he wasn't like Heath remembered. "You have time for some coffee?" Heath supposed it was the least he could do. After all, Jack had brought him a dog.

supposedly

2010-06-01T10:47:00.020-05:00

They were out at the animal shelter when the call came in. It was about Kelsey.

"Look, we're getting a dog, not a kid." Heath knew where this was going, but as it was they'd gone to the hospital to see about her.

And yes, Nick had decided. He wanted to help. Before Heath could stop him, he'd flat out told her they'd adopt her baby.

"Why did you say that?" Heath wasn't nearly as kind.

"I thought you wanted kids." Nick was sure they were on the same page about this, but possibly in different chapters of their lives.

"When we can afford them." Heath just glared back. They were down in hospital parking lot now and Heath was practically walking in circles. "Don't give her this false hope!" Heath hugged himself as if he would not have a part of this. "This is between her and your brother."

Nick shook his head. It was just, Kelsey was family, and he didn't want to see Kelsey give away her baby to anyone.

"Look, she's not due until September. Maybe, things will have changed by then. But if she needs to get away and stay with us. Its the least we could do." Nick told him.

"Are you kidding me!" Heath was tense now. "We only have a bed. Nothing more. What are we going to do? Huh?"

He guessed he hadn't thought that far ahead.

"We can fix this. We can. We'll go to garage sales. Estate sale. Something. We can make our house a home." Nick was sure of it.

Heath just shook his head as if Nick had bit off more than he could chew.

getting there

2010-05-30T01:21:00.022-05:00

"You're not mad are you?" Nick was driving Heath to the new place. They were suppose to be at Heath's parents. His sister would be graduating high school soon. Still Heath liked the idea of being alone with Nick.

"No, of course not." Heath didn't want it to start that way.

"It-it just came up. And you know, its ours. I did a few calls. And, well, we have a bed at least." Nick smiled.

"A bed. Well, that's a start." It seemed like such a long drive to get across the bridge, past the corn fields into a thicket of what resided was a little metropolis of bakeries and Mom and Pop places. This was where there home would be. Past the old historical houses downtown, yet not too far off the beaten track. There it was. A little house not quite on the prairie.

Heath took a deep breath. He smiled. Actually, he couldn't believe it. Nick had found them a place they could call home. And there was a big back yard. Of course, he didn't find it until after walking through the empty rooms of hard wood. Perhaps, it was nothing fancy but it was home. A home they could make their own.

"And I thought we could go to the animal shelter tomorrow, if you want." Nick remembered.

Heath smiled more. But the place was empty. Except for the bed. It was just a bed. A bare bed. Queen sized and not made up for anyone.

"Don't worry, I got sheets." Nick told him. He went to the little room by the kitchen. Heath followed. Well, he was sold right then on the fancy washer and dryer. It was the expensive kind that supposedly you'd save money with. Standing tall, the front loading kind.

"Wow." Heath had never seen anything like these, except in commercials.

"Yeah, I was kind of shocked. My Mom doesn't have a washer and dryer this amazing." Nick grinned pulling out the pretty paisley sheets.

Heath helped him put the covers on. He was still in shock that it was happening so fast. He was so happy.

"You did good." Heath nodded with a smile.

"Well, I had some help. Jack seemed to think it would be perfect for us." Nick finally said.

"Jack?" Heath winced then. "When have you been talking to Jack?" Suddenly, none of this set well with Heath.

where do we go from here

2010-05-28T02:46:00.015-05:00

How did this happen?

Nick looked around at the empty place. He wondered what Heath would think. Jack was with him. It was weird how it all came about. But Jack had nothing to do, and Nick didn't want to go alone. Here he was looking at the place with him.

"Its not bad." Jack opened the cabinet under the sink and checked the trash disposal. The place was nothing fancy, but still it was clean. The kitchen was minty green. All the other rooms were white. "You could always paint."

Nick nodded.

Jack checked the patio door. There was a big back yard. It was a three bedroom house. A full basement.

"Is he going to kill me, you know, if I take it?" Nick saw nothing wrong with the place. He didn't see it as fixing up, but they could make a few changes to make it their own too.

"Look, remember she said about just renting." Jack shrugged.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking." Nick sighed.

"Well, if you guys want to stay with is his parents, that gets old fast. I'd say bite the bullet and take it." Jack advised.

Nick just smile. He was right. How Nick wanted it to be just Heath and him. A place of their own. That's all he needed was for someone to say it was OK, to take the place.

almost there

2010-05-26T02:36:00.020-05:00

Heath was dazed when he found out they had a party for him. They brought in a cake and presents. It was like a birthday party, except he was leaving.

Honestly, he was shocked that people liked him here. He hated to give that up. But kids, parents, teachers were all here to wish him well. His classroom was packed with people after school.

"Wow, you really shouldn't have." He was all grins. He felt a might silly. He had no room for his teacher's scowl. He felt like a little kid instead. So many hugs and thank yous.

"I wasn't even here the whole year." He winced. "This is amazing. I just hope the next school I go to will be half as great as all of you were." Even if he knew he had plenty of pranksters in his class.

Heath just sighed as he watched everyone looking at him as if he needed to say more.

"I'm going to miss you." He told them. "I'll miss this." He hoped he wasn't wrong in giving this up.

Everyone gathered around for their slice of cake then.

"I've got you an appointment in June in Des Moines. I think they have a placement for you." Father Keegan told him. "It'll be Council Bluffs, will that be too far of a drive for you?"

"No." Heath was sure of it. He could manage a drive from the country town they planned to move too. "I think it would perfect." Actually, he couldn't believe the news.

"Well, you know how it goes, they'll want to interview you, look at your credentials." He smiled.

"Oh, I've even got a drama workshop lined up to teach this summer." Heath then remembered.

"You be sure to tell them about that, will you?" Father Keegan gave him a pat on the back.

"Of course." Heath nodded. He sighed with relief. Still, he couldn't wait to get out of here.

just a feeling

2010-05-24T02:28:00.015-05:00

The real estate lady called again.

Jack was there when Nick got the call.

"You have to come look at this. I think it'll be perfect." She told him.

"Um, I don't know if we really want an old house, you know." Nick sighed then.

"Well, its from the 70's, its not as old as some as you looked at. Its got a lot of new stuff in it. New washer and dryer. New appliances." Nick liked the sound of that.

"It has to be today?" Nick winced.

"Could you?" The lady seemed as if she wanted him to have first dibs. Of course, with this housing market what was the hurry? "You could rent it. Its a rent to own."

"Really?" Nick liked that idea, too. "OK, I can look. We really do need a place."

Nick grinned when he got off the phone.

"Whats so funny?" Jack almost smiled too.

"I dunno. I just hope its the one." Nick had a feeling it could be, and he hadn't even seen it yet.

a little faith

2010-05-22T02:18:00.023-05:00

"Oh my God, you are packed. You can't wait to get out of here, can you?" Maria looked at all the boxes that Heath was loading up.

"Yeap." It was as if he'd gotten a burst of energy. When that bell rang tomorrow, he was out of here.

"You know, they have something planned for you, don't you?" Maria walked around the almost empty apartment.

"What?" Heath cringed at the thought.

"No one wants to see you go." She told him.

"Well, I-I don't know what to say." Heath was in shocked. He'd felt miserable what seemed for ever these last few days. All he could do was get late assignments graded, and have them read up on their religious studies so they could have a game of Jeopardy. He'd kept pushing videos to watch, as well. But everyone wanted a prize and well, he'd given most of the stuff away that he'd accumulated in his room.

As it was, there was no word about anything in Iowa yet. Most teachers had signed on another year. Including Maria.

"Just be there, after school." She smiled.

"How long will it take?" Heath tried to smile, but he wanted to be on the road.

"I'm going to miss you so much." She told him, giving him a hug.

"What are you going to do this summer?" Heath asked.

"I guess I'll visit my sister." She didn't sound too excited about it.

"Well, I'll let you know when we find a place. You could always come and see us." Heath told her.

"I'll think about it." She shook her head. "But you'll probably be busy."

"What if I don't find a job?" This dread was sinking in.

"Look, if Father Keegan has anything to do with it, he'll find you one. He will," she said. "You just have to have a little faith."

Heath just smiled. He guessed she was right, but he couldn't help but worry a little.