Saturday, October 2, 2010

homebound

Kelsey was at her wits end trying to figure out the breast feeding. She didn't know how many times at the hospital that her Dad and even Jack's Dad walked in on her while breast feeding. Actually, Owen seemed to know more than she did. A natural instinct, she supposed.

But still it was a painful process, and she wondered if it was worth it.

"The sooner you stop the better." Just the thing she didn't want to hear from her mother. And that was all she heard about after she got home. Her mother moved into the guestroom, and she felt bad for Jack that he was having to put up with all this too. But he managed to sleep through all the lights coming on in the night, the crying and her mother telling her how she was doing everything wrong.

Of course, Jack got out of their way every morning. Dropped Grady off to daycare and then went on to work.

"The sooner you leave the better." Kelsey ended up telling her. She would figure this out on her own. She just couldn't give up on this. She needed time. And she needed to be alone with Owen.

"But you'll be alone." Her mother told Kelsey. "Aren't you afraid to be alone off out here, like this?"

"Mom, I'll be OK." She felt sure she would be fine on her own.

"But I don't want to leave you." Her mother just couldn't.

"Then be quiet. Go watch a soap opera or something. I just need to be alone with Owen." Kelsey couldn't take all this lecturing.

"I don't even know why you came up with that ghastly name." Her mother hugged herself.

"Mom." She wanted to tell her to shut up. "I need juice. All right. I want juice." She felt as if she had to order her mother around or she'd never get this figured out. Did Owen want milk, or was she just his pacifier?

5 comments:

Panda! said...

nice!

lucy and sarah said...

a very restless time. i'm sure.

meg said...

some things mom's and daughters never see eye to eye on.

DFF said...

So much to get used too.

simon and josh said...

Such troubles with a new baby.