Thursday, May 20, 2010

no one

Jack felt so lost about everything.

He had to remember the best time of his life was probably high school, and it went down hill from there. Here he was stuck with his Dad. Just like it always was. He felt as if he couldn't grow up. It wasn't that his Dad was keeping him from anything. He had his chances, but somehow, he always blew it. He was a hothead, after all.

"You take after your mother." His dad always told him. Of course, that had ended in an ugly divorce over a decade ago and his Mom had moved back East. But he'd excelled in sports in those days. He still wished he had that to do, but he didn't.

Now, he felt more alone than he ever felt before and really, he didn't know if there was anything he could do about it in a small town. He was a substitude mail carrier. He only worked one day a week. Saturdays. There wasn't a big demand for a postman these days. And he had to admit he was kind of glad he didn't have fulltime. He wasn't sure he wanted to waste his life away delivering mail or putting up with the old farts that were paid too much at the post office as it was, just buying their time to retire.

He wished he hadn't asked about Heath, but he had too. Even if he didn't have any right to know. It was just, he wanted to see him again. He did. He hated this feeling that he might never feel this way about anyone like Heath.

He guessed Heath had told Nick all about him. What a horrible person he was. Now it made him feel so low as if he might be stuck in this geer. Really, he liked this time with Nick. It was just... he was sure Nick would never know that he liked this time with him. No one had to know.

2 comments:

Holly said...

I kind of feel sad for Jack, but kind of not, too.

natalie said...

Oh Jack, he really seems to be in an unpleasant situation... you have to at least feel a bit sorry for him :P